EP. 112 Heavy is the Crown

[00:00:05] Speaker A: You are listening to an atomic broadcasting production. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the feature presentation. And remember, do your part. Such as like comment rate. And don't forget to tell a friend to tune in for an atomic time. [00:00:30] Speaker B: Hey, everyone. Jacob here. Just the editor checking in to let you know. In case you missed the community post, we will not be uploading an episode next week, but we will be uploading an episode January 12, and at that point we will then be back to our regular schedule. So hope you enjoy this episode and we'll see you next year. After this episode though, don't go anywhere. [00:00:55] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:00:58] Speaker D: Now, where did we leave off? [00:01:02] Speaker A: Ah, yes. [00:01:05] Speaker D: After reaching the Storm King's castle, the party discovered the so called Storm King was a weaker giant, using the magic. [00:01:14] Speaker B: Of the crown to enhance himself. [00:01:17] Speaker D: The king refused to give up his. [00:01:19] Speaker B: Crown, insisting that he would take on Fafnir himself when the time came. [00:01:26] Speaker D: As the party did not agree, he. [00:01:29] Speaker B: Insisted they be shown to their rooms to spend the night. [00:01:38] Speaker E: I'm just trying to mute my computer in case Jacob decides to send us hilarious things. [00:01:41] Speaker F: Oh, I should have a computer too. [00:01:43] Speaker E: Because it has happened before. [00:01:44] Speaker G: Oh, my computer was at a hundred volume. [00:01:48] Speaker C: Someone said, sam something funny. [00:01:50] Speaker G: That would have been awkward. [00:01:52] Speaker A: Awkward. I have a Smurf. [00:01:55] Speaker F: You do have a smurf. [00:01:56] Speaker B: Congratulations on that. [00:01:57] Speaker F: And you killed it. [00:01:58] Speaker A: I dropped a smurf. [00:02:00] Speaker C: All right. Since Smurfs are so small, do they take fall damage or are they like insects? [00:02:04] Speaker F: Yeah, I know you said insects, but my brain said. [00:02:11] Speaker C: No. [00:02:11] Speaker B: It's like, oh, no. I mean, there is only one Smurfette. [00:02:17] Speaker C: We're not talking about that. [00:02:19] Speaker G: Technically, there's. There's two female Smurfs. [00:02:22] Speaker C: There is? [00:02:22] Speaker G: Yeah. There's the second one. [00:02:23] Speaker C: What? I thought the first one was made by the evil person so he could trick them. What? What's the second one? [00:02:30] Speaker A: No. [00:02:32] Speaker C: Does anybody even care about the Smurfs anymore? [00:02:35] Speaker F: I don't know. [00:02:36] Speaker E: They recently released a video game that I'm kind of interested in. [00:02:39] Speaker G: There's Sassette in season five. She's a redhead with pigtails. [00:02:44] Speaker E: Season five of what? [00:02:45] Speaker G: How. Smurfs. [00:02:46] Speaker A: Redhead. [00:02:47] Speaker C: How is not. [00:02:49] Speaker G: That's ironic because, people, I am a. [00:02:53] Speaker F: Redhead wearing pigtails today. [00:02:55] Speaker A: And you're wearing a blue shirt. [00:02:59] Speaker G: Now you have to be really sassy for the whole rest of the episode. [00:03:02] Speaker F: Oh, I. [00:03:03] Speaker C: Isn't that just Neros in general? [00:03:06] Speaker F: Yeah, sassy and gassy. [00:03:08] Speaker D: Sassy. [00:03:08] Speaker F: Gassy. [00:03:09] Speaker G: Yeah. But Zafir's the right size. [00:03:12] Speaker A: What? [00:03:15] Speaker E: I don't even know what to say to that. [00:03:20] Speaker C: My Brain just realized I'm here. Okay. Welcome. [00:03:24] Speaker F: Thank you, Jenkins. Brain. [00:03:26] Speaker C: I don't know where it's been, but it just got engaged. [00:03:29] Speaker G: Still engaged. I think it was still at the Tide place from last night. [00:03:35] Speaker C: Yeah, I had that for lunch before coming over. It was good. [00:03:39] Speaker F: Oh, really? [00:03:40] Speaker B: Tide Pots? [00:03:41] Speaker C: Yes. [00:03:41] Speaker A: Whoa. [00:03:42] Speaker C: I am one of the youths. [00:03:43] Speaker A: All right, let's bring back that 20 years ago. [00:03:46] Speaker F: We are not doing the Tide Pod Challenge. [00:03:48] Speaker G: That was like four years ago. [00:03:49] Speaker C: It was longer than. [00:03:50] Speaker F: It was longer than four. [00:03:51] Speaker E: Like 2018. [00:03:52] Speaker G: That was seven years ago. Was Tide Pods. [00:03:55] Speaker E: Four score and six years. [00:03:56] Speaker G: Almost eight years now. [00:03:58] Speaker E: Four score is. Wait, how long is four score? [00:04:00] Speaker C: Four score. [00:04:01] Speaker A: What is one score seven years ago? [00:04:03] Speaker C: I'm pretty sure it's like, I don't. [00:04:05] Speaker A: Remember the rest of that. [00:04:06] Speaker B: What was happening four score and seven years ago today? [00:04:08] Speaker G: Zombies. What? [00:04:10] Speaker E: What is a score? What? How long is a score? [00:04:14] Speaker G: Depends on the game you're playing. [00:04:16] Speaker E: I was about to say there's a J in there. [00:04:18] Speaker F: It depends on the music. [00:04:19] Speaker C: Oh, that's also true. [00:04:22] Speaker E: Thanks. I said cover. I can't type score. [00:04:24] Speaker G: We need to be. [00:04:25] Speaker F: At least there are some music scores. [00:04:28] Speaker B: That are Four score. Four score and seven years ago today, the Kaiser Wilhelm II abdicated and started the German Republic. [00:04:36] Speaker A: Wow. [00:04:36] Speaker E: Didn't he also make the Wilhelm Scream? [00:04:39] Speaker F: What? What? [00:04:40] Speaker B: Well, speaking of screams and the potential ending of monarchs, would you guys like to get back into things? [00:04:46] Speaker C: We already. Oh, there's another monarch. [00:04:48] Speaker E: Implications. [00:04:51] Speaker B: Where we last left off, Volas had been asked to come in and show you all to somewhere where you could spend the night. You all had seemed a little bit hesitant at that implication last time, so I wasn't sure if you were gonna just follow Volas or. [00:05:10] Speaker C: It may be rude not to. [00:05:12] Speaker E: I'm okay with it. [00:05:14] Speaker F: I don't wanna die. [00:05:16] Speaker C: We all die someday. [00:05:19] Speaker F: Nero's is too young to die. [00:05:23] Speaker B: So this frost giant, covered with scrapes and bruises. [00:05:28] Speaker A: That's right. [00:05:30] Speaker G: He only has 36 of points. [00:05:32] Speaker B: Leads you out of this, like, main banquet hall. Banquet hall slash throne room into a hallway that, as we talked about before, is. It's just a little bit oversized for him and is dramatically oversized for all of you. So as you walk around the corner, there's just like, massive furniture. There's a, you know, just like a hallway shelf unit kind of thing that's like. It should be, you know, waist level, but it's actually so high, you can't even see over the top of it. And he takes you down the hall and opens a door that you can't even reach the handle of which opens into what should be a very modest bedroom. But to you all's perspective, it's about what this would be 40 by 60ft. And the bed itself is like the size of a small bedroom. [00:06:30] Speaker F: Ooh, we could all fit on it. [00:06:33] Speaker G: Yeah, we can all share a bed. We can jump on the bed. [00:06:37] Speaker D: All right, well, here's your room. Unless we need a separate room for, you know, the animals. [00:06:46] Speaker E: I will stay in the room with these folks, thank you very much. [00:06:49] Speaker C: Zephyr, he was talking about the bird. [00:06:52] Speaker E: He said animals. [00:06:54] Speaker F: Are you an animal? [00:06:55] Speaker E: I don't know. [00:06:57] Speaker D: I don't know what you are either. I mean, all I know is you look tasty. [00:07:01] Speaker E: Thank you. Thank you. [00:07:03] Speaker G: Aren't we all technically animals? [00:07:06] Speaker D: No, you're, you're. You're all right. You're like half giant or something. [00:07:10] Speaker G: Who me? [00:07:11] Speaker B: Yeah youh grabs a breeze. [00:07:16] Speaker A: Thank you for showing. [00:07:19] Speaker D: Well, I will let you all get comfortable and I'll bring you something for dinner. Hospitality and alike. [00:07:27] Speaker A: Something with that originally had feathers perhaps. [00:07:31] Speaker G: And something that wasn't a person before. [00:07:33] Speaker A: That was the point of the feathers. [00:07:35] Speaker G: Oh. [00:07:35] Speaker F: Oh, and that's not Sigyn. [00:07:38] Speaker D: Wow, you're all really picky. [00:07:43] Speaker B: He walks off into the banquet hall again, muttering to himself. [00:07:46] Speaker E: How big is his bed again? [00:07:47] Speaker G: Maybe so we're vegetarians. [00:07:50] Speaker C: It worked for me. Kind of. [00:07:52] Speaker B: It's about like 20ft by 35ft. [00:07:55] Speaker E: Okay, I'm gonna set up my tent on the bed. [00:07:57] Speaker C: How are you getting on the bed? [00:07:59] Speaker E: Climb with my knitting. [00:08:02] Speaker B: What's your athletics Bonus? [00:08:05] Speaker E: That would be 17. [00:08:06] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, you're fine. You can climb onto the bed. [00:08:08] Speaker A: Oh, good. [00:08:08] Speaker G: I have monkeys. [00:08:09] Speaker E: I was worried. I use my knitting needles from previous experience. [00:08:14] Speaker B: I am a little bit concerned about Alward Uwe and Neuros getting on the hip. [00:08:18] Speaker C: Hey, those two did fine. [00:08:19] Speaker F: I was rolling fine. [00:08:23] Speaker G: Let's set up a rope. [00:08:27] Speaker A: How tall is it again? [00:08:29] Speaker B: It's about six feet up. [00:08:32] Speaker G: I could just lift uvher up. Can one of you magic people tell me what time of day it is? [00:08:43] Speaker C: I cast time zone. [00:08:45] Speaker E: I don't think I took that spell today. What did I just smell? [00:08:51] Speaker C: What does your magic nose smell? [00:08:52] Speaker G: Try the unwashed sheets. [00:08:54] Speaker E: Science. [00:08:57] Speaker B: 12:07 and 37 seconds. [00:09:00] Speaker C: We have like a lot of time. [00:09:02] Speaker A: Time. [00:09:04] Speaker G: So what are we going to do right now about all this. [00:09:15] Speaker E: Sleep? [00:09:17] Speaker C: It's noon. [00:09:19] Speaker E: I've already set up the tent on the bed. [00:09:22] Speaker F: I love it. [00:09:23] Speaker E: Soft surface. [00:09:27] Speaker F: What are we doing? About what? [00:09:30] Speaker G: I'm not sure. We're here. [00:09:33] Speaker F: You're the one that asked, what are we going to do? There's, like, a few things that could be that you're trying to ask about. [00:09:41] Speaker G: Well, do we need to do anything more with the Storm King fella? [00:09:46] Speaker A: The hill giant. That's what is now a storm giant, presumably. A hill giant. [00:09:52] Speaker G: Yes. That's one of the things. If we want to do anything about him. I mean, I know we kind of made a deal with him. It seems like it's not a good idea. [00:10:02] Speaker A: He would die quickly to Fafnir, I believe. [00:10:06] Speaker G: Yeah. That right now I'm toying around with the moral implications of everything right now. And then also, if we want to head back to Joel or get the Darko to the Dying Breath thing. I know the Dying Breath thing kind of did the same thing that the Storm King's supposed to do for us. Or we could get it as a backup if we're leaving the Storm King as is. He seems rather keen on the whole 1v1 in Fafnir. Like you said, Uber. I don't think that'd go well for him. [00:10:43] Speaker E: Now, that brings him to. To Fafnir where we wanted the things, so it works for me. [00:10:49] Speaker G: But if he dies in a 1v1, then we can't make use of the crown against Fafnir. [00:10:56] Speaker E: I don't think Fafnir is going to pick it up. [00:10:58] Speaker G: I'd be concerned. If Fafnir put on a Storm Giant crown, would it just be. Would Fafnir just become a giant, like a bigger dragon? [00:11:07] Speaker E: I don't know how it works. [00:11:08] Speaker G: Or would he become an actual, like, a normal storm giant? [00:11:12] Speaker A: I don't think it would either make him more powerful or it would do nothing at all. And it would take a weapon away from us. [00:11:21] Speaker G: Right. [00:11:22] Speaker C: I think you. We need to decide if we just want to move on or if you're going to be okay with us stealing this crown. Val. Because it's either murdering him or stealing it from him. [00:11:38] Speaker A: I will say that in his culture, killing him for his crown would be within the realm of normal. [00:11:48] Speaker G: I do eat people. [00:11:51] Speaker B: There's a sound of a knocking at the door, which is still, like, hung ajar. And the size of the door and the size of the knock, it's more just like a. [00:12:03] Speaker D: Sorry to interrupt. [00:12:04] Speaker B: And Agar peeks his head in. [00:12:07] Speaker D: Do you mind if we have a conversation? [00:12:09] Speaker B: He looks over his shoulder, come in. [00:12:13] Speaker G: As we're all, like, sitting in a. [00:12:15] Speaker B: Circle on the bed, he awkwardly, like, slips in through the door and closes it behind him. And then just kind of stands there for a second. [00:12:23] Speaker D: So what's the plan? [00:12:28] Speaker G: About what? [00:12:30] Speaker D: So how are we gonna do it? Are we gonna. We gonna sneak up on him? We gonna bop him from behind? Or. [00:12:37] Speaker A: Do you want Zekran for yourself? [00:12:40] Speaker C: What? [00:12:40] Speaker D: No, no, not really the king type myself. [00:12:44] Speaker A: You just don't like him. [00:12:46] Speaker D: I mean, he's alright. I mean, he drove off most everybody else and he only beats me every so often. Not today though. [00:13:00] Speaker G: Actually, I think. Yeah, you look. You look pretty unscathed out of all of them today. [00:13:05] Speaker D: Well, it's because you didn't beat me. [00:13:08] Speaker A: Question. How many are there of you? I know you and your friend Volus. [00:13:17] Speaker D: And, and there's the king. [00:13:20] Speaker A: And. Anyone else? [00:13:22] Speaker D: We got some birds. [00:13:24] Speaker E: Cloud birds. Real birds. [00:13:26] Speaker D: Real birds. [00:13:27] Speaker A: All right, so why. Why did he drive off everyone else but kept you two? [00:13:33] Speaker D: You know, it's a difficult thing to answer. I mean, how does loyalty strike a. [00:13:38] Speaker A: Fella, you know, apparently differently for each person he just looks at him. [00:13:45] Speaker B: It's. [00:13:45] Speaker D: The real question is, are you loyal to the crown or to the head that wears it? [00:13:51] Speaker A: Apparently you are loyal to the crown. [00:13:54] Speaker G: Well, you're right. [00:13:55] Speaker D: In that case, I guess I shouldn't be helping you. [00:13:57] Speaker A: Well, it. The head that wears it is different from the crown. [00:14:01] Speaker D: Well, yeah, but he's wearing the crown now. [00:14:04] Speaker A: Well, if you were loyal to the. [00:14:05] Speaker D: Head, well, what about. What about the old king that he killed to take the crown? [00:14:12] Speaker E: Well, you can't be loyal to a dead guy. [00:14:14] Speaker A: No, no, you can be loyal. You can actually be loyal to a dead guy. [00:14:18] Speaker C: We just fought a whole cult who was loyal to a dead guy? [00:14:21] Speaker G: That's he was alive. That's, that's true. He was kind of alive though. That's also true. [00:14:27] Speaker A: You can think of it as getting avenging the old king. [00:14:32] Speaker C: Oh, why, why are you trying to sell him on the idea when he's already sold? [00:14:36] Speaker G: Actually, I think some people are. There's more people loyal to dead people than loyal to living people. [00:14:42] Speaker C: Why are you helping us or wanting to help us? [00:14:45] Speaker D: She's scary. [00:14:47] Speaker A: Is Volus involved in this? [00:14:51] Speaker D: I don't know. I haven't really gotten through to him yet. He's trying to make porridge right now. [00:14:56] Speaker E: Oh, he's trying to. [00:14:58] Speaker D: I don't know why. There's so many feathers in it. [00:15:05] Speaker A: Not to self. Don't try porridge. [00:15:09] Speaker G: I'm sure he'll be fine. [00:15:11] Speaker A: You think you might have addled his brain a bit? [00:15:14] Speaker G: I think his, his brain should be fine, but I think he'd be willing to be Compliant. [00:15:19] Speaker D: I asked him about it and he said you specifically wanted feathers in your food. [00:15:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:15:27] Speaker E: I don't know. It sounds like he's making up for the fact that he might not have teeth anymore. [00:15:31] Speaker G: Okay, so this new leader fella, right? So he came in here and killed the previous guy with the crown. [00:15:37] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. [00:15:38] Speaker G: And then he took over and then drove everyone off because he's. Nobody likes him. [00:15:42] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. [00:15:43] Speaker G: And you've been eating people up in here, but not much lately. [00:15:47] Speaker D: Well, not as much as we're used to. [00:15:49] Speaker G: But you miss it. [00:15:50] Speaker D: Oh, so much. [00:15:52] Speaker A: Okay. [00:15:53] Speaker G: And he regularly beats the two of you? [00:15:56] Speaker D: Well, it's not. [00:15:58] Speaker B: It's not like there's really a schedule. [00:16:01] Speaker C: It is, remember, part of giant culture, that the strongest is the one who wears the crown. [00:16:07] Speaker G: You keep trying to push me away from being involved in these things. [00:16:11] Speaker C: I'm not trying to do any. I'm just trying to explain cultural differences between us and them. [00:16:18] Speaker D: No, no, no, no. If we're gonna be in this together, there's nothing. None of this, us and them talk. [00:16:23] Speaker B: Right? [00:16:24] Speaker G: That's dangerous, talking. Especially when speaking about cultures. [00:16:27] Speaker A: Oh, I'm just. [00:16:28] Speaker C: It's to be expected that they get put in line. [00:16:31] Speaker B: He walks up and he just, like, puts his hand on your face, just like covers your whole head, leans down. [00:16:36] Speaker D: To the others and goes, I don't know about you guys, but this one seems kind of racist. [00:16:44] Speaker G: He's just explaining things. [00:16:48] Speaker A: He is more talkative than I remember. [00:16:55] Speaker C: I'll shut up now, Sven. It's okay. [00:16:59] Speaker B: That is kind of funny getting, like the snapshot of difference, because I feel like Alward is a whole lot more confident now than he was last time uvair was around. [00:17:08] Speaker C: Yes, that makes sense. [00:17:11] Speaker G: So you're wanting us at least you think our intention is to go up and bop him on the head and take the crown? [00:17:20] Speaker D: Well, that's what I was asking. I mean, you. You came here for the crown. [00:17:22] Speaker G: That's true. [00:17:23] Speaker D: He's got it. [00:17:24] Speaker G: Yeah. [00:17:24] Speaker D: Seems like the obvious solution as to, you know. [00:17:26] Speaker G: Do you think he's any good at fighting things? [00:17:30] Speaker D: Oh, pretty good. Yeah. [00:17:32] Speaker G: Yeah, he's always been there recently because of the crown. [00:17:37] Speaker D: It's a little bit of both. He's. He's starting to get the hang of the crown. Nothing like the old guy, though. [00:17:43] Speaker A: How did he defeat the old guy? [00:17:45] Speaker D: Oh, well, you see, one day he challenged him to a duel and said, meet me outside at 2:00'. [00:17:54] Speaker C: Clock. [00:17:55] Speaker D: And then he didn't show up. And then that night, he snuck into the bedroom and did him in his sleep. You know, real clever stuff. [00:18:02] Speaker A: Why didn't do that? [00:18:04] Speaker G: Why did he challenge me? Why didn't he just do it anyway? [00:18:07] Speaker D: I don't know. I don't pretend to understand the mental brilliance that goes on in that brain. [00:18:13] Speaker A: Wait. [00:18:14] Speaker E: We can wait till he goes to sleep and then take the crown. [00:18:18] Speaker G: Oh, yeah. Could we just. If we could just steal it while he's asleep, that'd be great. I would like less blood. [00:18:23] Speaker F: Did none of you think about this? Am I the only one that thought about this? [00:18:27] Speaker G: I don't think about stealing very often. Thank you. [00:18:31] Speaker C: I, I was gonna suggest it, but then we got interrupted by him. [00:18:37] Speaker E: See, I think you're all making things up. I don't think you actually thought it would be before. [00:18:40] Speaker F: I, I, I did. [00:18:41] Speaker E: You all just wanted to kill people. Your L for blood is crazy. [00:18:44] Speaker F: Says the EX assassin. [00:18:46] Speaker E: I have changed. [00:18:48] Speaker G: I do believe that near us would have thought about this. [00:18:53] Speaker F: Thank you, Sam. [00:18:54] Speaker A: Well, the only other thing that I could think of was disintegrating him until only the crown was left. I don't think that is very. Well, I would think it would be very humane. But then Uber realizes what he said out loud. But I think that we might try to steal the crown. [00:19:15] Speaker G: Well, all right. [00:19:18] Speaker D: So like tonight. That's a problem. I'm, I'm busy tonight. [00:19:23] Speaker G: You don't have to help. [00:19:24] Speaker A: Hey, you can help in another way. Make sure he eats a lot of turkey. [00:19:30] Speaker B: Well, hold on. [00:19:31] Speaker D: Let's see. He checked my schedule and he pulls. [00:19:33] Speaker B: Out this piece of paper. [00:19:35] Speaker D: See? [00:19:36] Speaker G: Do you know what makes him sleepy? Is a lot of turkey that day. [00:19:40] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:19:40] Speaker D: I don't know if we've had that much turkey. How many turkeys would that take? [00:19:47] Speaker A: A flock? [00:19:49] Speaker D: Oh, haven't got that many turkeys. How about rocks? [00:19:54] Speaker G: Yeah, if you could make him eat a ton of rocks, that would probably be good for, for us. [00:20:00] Speaker D: Okay. [00:20:01] Speaker G: Oh, you, you mean like the bird? [00:20:05] Speaker D: Yeah, we've got a few of them left. [00:20:07] Speaker G: Still, I, Yeah, I bet if you ate a bunch of those, he'd get sleepy. [00:20:12] Speaker A: In fact, I, I'm sure you have one of them that might be very tender right now. [00:20:18] Speaker G: That's true. [00:20:22] Speaker E: I got that. [00:20:23] Speaker D: All right, well, make sure it's all done before six tonight. That's when I'm supposed to come kill you all. [00:20:29] Speaker G: Wait, but 6 o'? Clock? Is he gonna. So does he take afternoon naps very much? [00:20:34] Speaker E: Val? [00:20:35] Speaker D: No, he said you'd be asleep by then. [00:20:37] Speaker G: Why would he sleep by 6? [00:20:39] Speaker D: I don't know. That's what he said. [00:20:40] Speaker G: But does he sleep during the day typically? [00:20:42] Speaker D: Well, no. He usually waits till the sun goes down, which is quite a while from up here. [00:20:47] Speaker A: So in that case, you might suggest to him that in fact that we are a little bit strange in that we go to bed at 2 in the morning. [00:20:59] Speaker D: Oh, wow. [00:21:00] Speaker G: Yeah, we like just. We. [00:21:01] Speaker D: Yeah, you really should get better sleep hygiene. [00:21:04] Speaker A: I know that. Hygiene. [00:21:06] Speaker F: Sleep hygiene. [00:21:08] Speaker G: We typically go down either when this. When the. We go down a little. [00:21:11] Speaker A: We. We go down at about 2 o' clock. For the king's sake. [00:21:14] Speaker G: Yeah, we. We stay up later than the sun goes down for sure. [00:21:18] Speaker A: It's only respectful to go to sleep after the king goes to sleep. [00:21:22] Speaker F: Oh, that's actually a really good point. [00:21:25] Speaker D: That's fair. That's fair. [00:21:27] Speaker G: We're very respectable individuals. [00:21:29] Speaker F: That's really smart. [00:21:30] Speaker D: I will tell the king that it will be difficult for him to sleep before you. He won't be happy though. [00:21:40] Speaker A: He likes to stay up late. [00:21:41] Speaker D: No, he likes to go to sleep first. [00:21:44] Speaker A: What? Let. [00:21:44] Speaker D: Wait, hold on. [00:21:45] Speaker B: I'm confused. [00:21:46] Speaker A: That is exactly. That is exactly correct. We want him. It is respectful for him to go to sleep first and then we go to sleep after. [00:21:53] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, no, he like that. [00:21:55] Speaker E: It's like pulling out a chair for someone and letting them sit down first. [00:21:58] Speaker G: You need to let us know when he goes to sleep. [00:22:00] Speaker D: Okay. [00:22:00] Speaker E: And poisoning their food. [00:22:02] Speaker B: What? [00:22:02] Speaker E: What? [00:22:07] Speaker A: Careful, Sophir. Your assassin is slipping through. [00:22:11] Speaker D: All right, well, I'll go. I'll go cook some rock and tell. [00:22:14] Speaker G: That's a good point. Zafir, do you know any like, sleeping poisons? Like something we. He could put in the feet and make him sleepier? [00:22:22] Speaker E: I don't know, Jordan, do I know. [00:22:23] Speaker B: Any sleeping potions or what's your crafting skill? [00:22:27] Speaker E: Probably terrible. 17 actually. [00:22:30] Speaker G: Oh, wait, I have a 15. Mine's a little lower than him. [00:22:34] Speaker B: So normally I would say what, what do you know? In your book? But because you have a history of being an assassin, I'll let you do a recall knowledge with your crafting skill. [00:22:45] Speaker E: Okay, is that a you roll or a me roll? [00:22:48] Speaker B: That would be a me roll. Wait, what is your crafting skill? [00:22:53] Speaker E: 17. [00:22:54] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, you said that four seconds ago. [00:22:58] Speaker E: What's your memory skill? It's probably better than mine. [00:23:02] Speaker A: He rolled low. [00:23:04] Speaker B: Zafir, you are familiar with a poison known as a stupor poison. It's something that could be created with common ingredients found in a kitchen, but you've never made it before. So you're not 100% confident that you'll be able to actually do it. [00:23:24] Speaker E: So these common ingredients, are they commonly used in cooking? [00:23:29] Speaker D: Yes. [00:23:29] Speaker B: Yeah. So like, if it's a fully stocked kitchen, you would expect to find them. [00:23:33] Speaker E: So they would be commonly used in food that would be easily, uneasily detected as a poison? [00:23:39] Speaker B: Potentially. So as an example, like, pepper is something that you would expect to find in a kitchen, but if you put like 2 tablespoons of pepper in someone's drink, they're gonna notice it. [00:23:53] Speaker C: Kind of like how nutmeg is a hallucinogen. If you have like three cloves of it. [00:23:57] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:23:58] Speaker B: Or poppy seeds have. Opium, right? [00:24:02] Speaker A: Opium, yeah. [00:24:03] Speaker E: So I do know this one. Poison potion drink. You know, depending on who it's for, it's called a stupor potion. I think, if you're willing, Mr. I forgot what your name was. Asgard. I don't know if you're willing to make this, you could probably find it in the kitchen. [00:24:27] Speaker D: Well, I am a bit of a chef. Have you got a recipe? [00:24:30] Speaker E: I do. And I start listing them off. [00:24:35] Speaker D: No, no. Why don't you just come with me? You can be my little kitchen buddy. [00:24:38] Speaker E: Well, see, that's the thing, I. No, come on. [00:24:43] Speaker D: You could sit on my head and pull on my hair and. [00:24:45] Speaker G: So I could go with you. [00:24:48] Speaker E: Would it be okay if Val came? [00:24:50] Speaker G: I can aid. I'm good crafting too. [00:24:52] Speaker D: We could do it like a trio. We could all be best friends. [00:24:56] Speaker G: That way, if anyone has any ideas about Zephyr, I can beat them up. [00:25:01] Speaker E: Yes. And if anybody questions why we're there, we're obviously visitors and we want to make sure that we're not being poisoned by you all, so. [00:25:09] Speaker G: And we have so much time before we go to bed. [00:25:12] Speaker A: As Zephyr, there is nobody else. [00:25:15] Speaker E: Well, I mean, false. Somebody who wants to kill us may think the same thing of him. [00:25:20] Speaker A: So I. I don't think that the storm giant is very concerned about this. Wouldn't you agree? [00:25:26] Speaker G: Well, he's planning to have us killed at 6 o'. Clock. But not anymore, because he wanted us to be asleep. But we don't sleep that early. [00:25:33] Speaker D: We might have to readdress the schedule. I'll let Volus know to figure out a new timetable. [00:25:41] Speaker G: Okay. [00:25:42] Speaker A: That I. I would say that if case you needed any more, it would be a shame. For it is a crying shame that he would send you to your death. [00:25:53] Speaker D: It wouldn't be the first time. Well, he'd send someone to their death. I haven't died. Not yet. [00:25:58] Speaker C: Really? [00:25:59] Speaker D: But it's coming. [00:26:00] Speaker E: Sorry. [00:26:00] Speaker C: Really? [00:26:02] Speaker D: I don't think I've died. Have you? [00:26:06] Speaker E: Maybe. It's possible. [00:26:08] Speaker D: Well, you're looking very good for a dead man. [00:26:11] Speaker E: Thank you. Where's the kitchen? [00:26:12] Speaker D: It's this way. [00:26:13] Speaker B: And he reaches down and in one hand picks up Val and the other hand picks up Zafir and sets them on his shoulders and walks off towards the kitchen. [00:26:21] Speaker E: I reach out and grasp his hair slightly. Tug, tug. [00:26:26] Speaker G: Bye, everyone. [00:26:30] Speaker B: All right, so Val and Sophia are going to the kitchen with Agarg. [00:26:35] Speaker G: Going to the kitchen? Gonna poison dinners. [00:26:43] Speaker B: While they're working in the kitchen. Was there anything the other three wanted to do? [00:26:49] Speaker C: We should probably figure out where he sleeps. [00:26:52] Speaker F: Oh yeah, that might be good. I was gonna meditate, but are you gonna do that instead? [00:26:58] Speaker C: Or maybe meditate under the bed? [00:27:00] Speaker F: Under the bed? [00:27:02] Speaker C: If the giants come in and you're on the bed and you're in a meditative state, they might kill you. [00:27:07] Speaker F: Yeah, that means I'd have to get back up here. [00:27:10] Speaker A: We can guard her. [00:27:12] Speaker C: We're going to be searching for. [00:27:13] Speaker F: They're going to be looking for Volis's room. [00:27:16] Speaker A: We are? [00:27:17] Speaker C: I mean, I guess I could do that alone, but I, I, I would, I would prefer a group. [00:27:22] Speaker F: It would be helpful to know where he's. I'll just come with you. [00:27:25] Speaker A: We could just ask. [00:27:27] Speaker C: Well, the giant has kitchen. [00:27:29] Speaker A: When he comes back. [00:27:30] Speaker C: What? They're gonna be cooking his dinner. Have you not been paying attention? [00:27:34] Speaker A: We can ask him when he gets back. [00:27:36] Speaker C: When he gets back, we're gonna be dead. [00:27:39] Speaker A: Why would we be dead? [00:27:40] Speaker F: Because he's going to kill us at. [00:27:42] Speaker A: 2 in the morning. [00:27:43] Speaker F: I don't know. Now I'm confused. [00:27:45] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:27:46] Speaker E: You're giving him too much credit. [00:27:47] Speaker A: If he comes back, then we'll kill him. [00:27:54] Speaker F: We will kill him before he kills us. [00:27:57] Speaker C: I don't really want to kill him. He seems nice for a giant. [00:28:01] Speaker F: Why don't we just go try to find the king's thank you room and then we can come back. [00:28:08] Speaker C: I'm gonna lean over to Nero's. Ufe has gotten a lot murder here since he's come back. [00:28:14] Speaker F: Yeah, I've noticed that. [00:28:17] Speaker C: We're gonna go search this castle for. [00:28:18] Speaker A: A room Uber is gonna stay behind. [00:28:20] Speaker E: What do you mean murder? [00:28:23] Speaker G: How dare you say that about me? [00:28:24] Speaker F: I'm saying okay. I feel like we need him better than threes. [00:28:28] Speaker B: I like how they're like Neros. Can't stay here. [00:28:30] Speaker D: She'll be killed. [00:28:31] Speaker B: Good luck, guys. [00:28:33] Speaker A: I think Uwe has a better chance of surviving in a one on one with a Giant. [00:28:37] Speaker C: I mean, he is the tankiest mage in the party. The offense on Abby's face. [00:28:44] Speaker F: Sorry, I have some spells that you've never seen before that do so much. [00:28:49] Speaker C: Also, Neros could just, like, snap her fingers. And the giants love her. [00:28:53] Speaker F: We're all friends now. [00:28:54] Speaker C: That's true. [00:28:55] Speaker B: All right, while Neros and Alward are setting out. Before you go anywhere, as you step out of the bedroom, there's a hall to your left, a hall in front of you, and a hall to your left that goes back to the banquet hall. [00:29:10] Speaker F: So many rooms. [00:29:11] Speaker D: Which way? [00:29:12] Speaker B: Would you like to go under the rug? [00:29:14] Speaker C: Oh, yes, fine. [00:29:15] Speaker B: That is possible. [00:29:16] Speaker F: I want to pretend to be a beetle. [00:29:20] Speaker B: Okay, so Neros goes under the rug. [00:29:22] Speaker F: I'm kidding. [00:29:23] Speaker E: All right, John, Paul and George, let's go under the. Under the rug. [00:29:27] Speaker G: I think you mean beat. [00:29:28] Speaker A: Beat. [00:29:29] Speaker G: Beatlos. [00:29:30] Speaker F: What? [00:29:31] Speaker G: Beatlos. What Neros. Beatle name. [00:29:35] Speaker F: Shut up. [00:29:37] Speaker B: So which way are you going? Basically? Left, right or straight? [00:29:41] Speaker C: I think the. The two left rooms are probably just another room and then maybe a bathroom. [00:29:45] Speaker F: Right. [00:29:46] Speaker C: I don't know about the thing across the hall from it, but maybe we just go down the hallway and see if we can find a more regal looking space. [00:29:53] Speaker F: Okay. [00:29:55] Speaker B: All right. And as the two of you head that way, we're going to shift angles back to the kitchen for a moment. [00:30:04] Speaker C: Putting petite to work. [00:30:05] Speaker F: I feel like I'm in danger. [00:30:07] Speaker C: All right, we're fine. Me and you, we got this. [00:30:10] Speaker B: Agarg is going to take the lead because he is the biggest and it is his hands that are doing things. Would you guys like to roll to assist him? [00:30:18] Speaker E: Yes, sure. Maybe I should grab a die. Oh, would that be crafting? [00:30:24] Speaker D: Yes. [00:30:25] Speaker B: The DC to assist is the 20. [00:30:27] Speaker G: Oh, you're doing 20, not 15. [00:30:30] Speaker B: In this case, it's 20 because you're doing improvised cooking in a giant kitchen. [00:30:34] Speaker G: How dare you. [00:30:36] Speaker E: Kidding. I rolled 20. Not a natural 20, but nice. [00:30:39] Speaker B: So Agar gets a plus one from Zafir, 31, and a plus two from Val. [00:30:45] Speaker F: You seem to so desperate, which with. [00:30:48] Speaker B: All of your combined efforts, means that you three got a critical success. [00:30:54] Speaker E: With our powers combined, we will put you to sleep. [00:30:57] Speaker B: Because I pulled up Agar's crafting or character sheet and found that he is trained in crafting. [00:31:04] Speaker A: Oh, good. [00:31:05] Speaker B: So as the you are all watching this cooking. It's going swimmingly. There's the. The braised sage that goes into the pot with an ungodly amount of curry. Meanwhile, back in the bedroom. Uwe, what are you up to? [00:31:25] Speaker C: Get to work. [00:31:26] Speaker A: Fatigue I honestly don't think I have anything for Uber to do. Like, genuinely. He didn't hear. [00:31:32] Speaker F: Why did you stay behind? [00:31:34] Speaker A: He didn't want to go. He didn't see need to go. [00:31:38] Speaker G: That's fair. [00:31:39] Speaker B: He just doesn't want to. [00:31:40] Speaker C: We need more information, Uber. No, we don't. [00:31:42] Speaker A: Okay, so he's just like, I'm just gonna ask the giant when he comes back. [00:31:47] Speaker G: I mean, that's totally valid. [00:31:49] Speaker B: So the camera cuts back to Uwe just sitting on the bed, and then it cuts back to Albert. [00:31:57] Speaker F: That would be hilarious, actually. [00:32:00] Speaker C: He's. [00:32:01] Speaker A: No, no, he's pulling out one of his journals and starts writing in it. [00:32:06] Speaker B: You've come up to a door that stands in front of you Door from your perspective. The doorknob is about 7ft off the ground a piece. [00:32:17] Speaker C: I'm gonna summon my mage hand and try and open it with that interesting question. Up to £10 for me. [00:32:25] Speaker B: Oh, then yes. Yeah, you open the door, and it leads into what appears to be some sort of barracks sort of living space. [00:32:37] Speaker F: Okay, well, I don't know that he's in here. [00:32:40] Speaker C: I don't think he'd be in here either. Maybe we have to go up the. Up to the second floor, maybe. Oh, that requires a lot of. [00:32:50] Speaker F: There's another door over there. That Zephyr's gesture entering too? [00:32:55] Speaker C: Pretty impressive, considering he's in the kitchen. [00:32:57] Speaker E: There's a door there. And there's a door there too. [00:32:59] Speaker G: There were doors behind the throne he was sitting on as well. [00:33:02] Speaker F: I feel like the door to the other side is just going to lead to a bunk room or like the. [00:33:06] Speaker C: Entrance to the gatehouse. [00:33:08] Speaker F: Yeah, let's. [00:33:09] Speaker C: Let's go back. Maybe there's something behind where he was sitting on his throne that we can sneak to. [00:33:14] Speaker A: You're gonna sneak past him? [00:33:16] Speaker C: No, there's a door leading into a hallway that leads right behind him that makes. Where we don't even need to be seen. [00:33:22] Speaker F: So kind of let's go up there. I feel like I'm going to be crushed at any second, though. [00:33:28] Speaker C: Just don't go under the carpets. [00:33:30] Speaker B: Oh, look, as you pass that way, Volas is coming from the kitchen with a big pot. Hello. [00:33:37] Speaker D: Oh, hello. Did you want your. Your soup? It got extra feathers. [00:33:46] Speaker C: No. [00:33:48] Speaker D: Is your friend still in the bedroom? He was the one who wanted the feathers. [00:33:52] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I'll bring it to him then. [00:33:54] Speaker F: Let's go in there for just one second. [00:33:58] Speaker C: Yes. [00:34:01] Speaker B: So all of you together, go back to the bedroom. [00:34:04] Speaker C: Such a good adventure. [00:34:07] Speaker F: We explored the castle. [00:34:10] Speaker B: Vola Sets the pot of porridge down in the bedroom. [00:34:13] Speaker D: Hello there, little bearded fellow. I've got your feather suit ready. [00:34:18] Speaker A: Oh, thank you, Volas. I do appreciate it. [00:34:24] Speaker D: You're welcome. [00:34:27] Speaker A: I have a question for you. I feel like I'm going to want to stretch my legs a little bit. You know, these old knees. Are there any rooms that I should be aware to avoid? [00:34:37] Speaker D: Oh, probably any room that has the king in it. [00:34:40] Speaker A: Oh, what rooms does he usually frequent? [00:34:43] Speaker D: Oh, mostly the. The eating room. [00:34:47] Speaker A: Yes. Does he have a bedroom that I should avoid as well? [00:34:53] Speaker D: Yeah, his bedroom's upstairs. [00:34:55] Speaker A: Oh, upstairs. Is that to the left of the staircase or to the right? [00:35:02] Speaker D: Well, it's after. If you use these ones right here on the other side of the wall. If you go up and then it's pretty much just a straight shot at the other side of the hallway. So don't go in there. [00:35:14] Speaker A: I will be sure not to go in there, thank you very much. [00:35:17] Speaker D: In fact, you probably would just be better off waiting in here, you know, at least until like 6 o'. Clock. [00:35:23] Speaker A: I understand. I actually, I go to bed at about 2am in the morning. [00:35:29] Speaker D: Oh, that's not good for you. [00:35:32] Speaker A: I figured that it is respectful to go to sleep after the king goes. [00:35:36] Speaker D: To sleep, you know. You know what? [00:35:39] Speaker B: And he reaches out and like pats your head, but it's like, you're a good little fella. [00:35:45] Speaker A: Yes. So I will be awake at 6:00'. Clock. [00:35:48] Speaker D: Oh, are you sure? [00:35:52] Speaker F: I think all of us will be. [00:35:54] Speaker A: Oh, we all have bad sleeping hygiene. [00:36:01] Speaker D: He's sounding like Agar. He's always on to me about Volus. You know what Mum said, you gotta get good sleep. And I'm like, you're not my dad. [00:36:11] Speaker B: And he just continues mumbling as he walks out of the room. [00:36:15] Speaker E: Those are the brothers. [00:36:16] Speaker F: You didn't get that? [00:36:18] Speaker E: No. [00:36:20] Speaker A: Okay, well, so the room is up the stairs to the right, three shot down the hall. [00:36:26] Speaker F: Yeah, we had. Why was that funny? [00:36:34] Speaker A: I'm laughing. [00:36:35] Speaker F: Why was that funny? [00:36:38] Speaker A: Well, you guys can explore more. [00:36:41] Speaker F: No, it's fine. [00:36:42] Speaker C: We could go hide in his room. [00:36:44] Speaker F: I get. [00:36:45] Speaker E: No, nobody said you had to go directly there. [00:36:48] Speaker F: Yeah, I'm going to climb under the. [00:36:51] Speaker A: Bed. [00:36:54] Speaker F: And I'm going to meditate. You ruined my fun. [00:36:59] Speaker A: You want some porridge? [00:37:01] Speaker F: No. [00:37:03] Speaker A: Oh. [00:37:05] Speaker C: Abby. [00:37:06] Speaker B: What do you want? Over or under? [00:37:11] Speaker F: For what? [00:37:12] Speaker B: I'm rolling a percentile dice. [00:37:14] Speaker F: For what? [00:37:15] Speaker B: Do you want me to roll high or roll low? [00:37:16] Speaker D: For what? [00:37:17] Speaker G: It's a luck roll. [00:37:18] Speaker F: This wonder. [00:37:23] Speaker B: So you want smaller numbers? [00:37:25] Speaker C: Better. [00:37:26] Speaker F: Yes. [00:37:27] Speaker E: You're Gonna find some cheese and crack. [00:37:28] Speaker G: 99. [00:37:28] Speaker C: Come on. Get a 99. [00:37:30] Speaker F: Shut up, Jenkins. [00:37:33] Speaker B: The tens die was cocked. [00:37:35] Speaker G: Come on, come on, come on. [00:37:36] Speaker B: But the ones die rolled a nine. [00:37:38] Speaker G: Yes. [00:37:39] Speaker D: Come on. Shut up. [00:37:40] Speaker C: Chickens. What? Such a face. [00:37:46] Speaker B: One point under the threshold. [00:37:50] Speaker G: 49. [00:37:51] Speaker F: I'm confused. [00:37:52] Speaker B: It's not a 50. 50. It was a different percentage chance. [00:37:55] Speaker G: Oh, wait. What did you. Oh, okay. [00:37:57] Speaker F: I said under. [00:37:59] Speaker G: Oh, so it's one point under. Oh, that's good. [00:38:02] Speaker D: Yep. [00:38:03] Speaker C: You did good. [00:38:03] Speaker F: Well, everyone had a very mixed reaction and confused me. [00:38:07] Speaker C: I wanted a bad thing to happen because it would be fun. [00:38:10] Speaker G: I was confused as the words he was speaking. [00:38:12] Speaker A: What? [00:38:13] Speaker B: Meditation is uninterrupted. [00:38:16] Speaker A: Rats. Literally, rats. [00:38:19] Speaker D: Oh, no, not giant rat. [00:38:23] Speaker A: Okay, Spiders. [00:38:25] Speaker F: I don't know how good that is. Dude, if Pharasma tries to kill me up here. [00:38:31] Speaker G: That's not. She's not gonna try to kill you closer to her. [00:38:34] Speaker B: Meanwhile, in the kitchen, you now have about. [00:38:40] Speaker D: Agar agar. [00:38:43] Speaker B: Doing everything in a giant kitchen with a giant helping you cook is messing with my sense of scale. [00:38:48] Speaker G: You have a large amount, about a. [00:38:51] Speaker B: Gallon of this poison. Golly, for a giant, that's not much. Yeah, by Zafir's estimates, is about twice what you're gonna need to put him to sleep. [00:39:02] Speaker F: Oh, we can just kill him with this. [00:39:04] Speaker E: Would I be aware of how much I can taste to make sure that it is what it should be without actually feeling most of the effects? [00:39:17] Speaker B: You would be aware of how much you could taste that I will be able to give you a plus 10 to your fortitude save. [00:39:27] Speaker F: Strangely worded. [00:39:28] Speaker E: Why does everything have to be a game? [00:39:30] Speaker F: Jordy, we're playing a game. [00:39:33] Speaker E: Can I just get a straight answer? I want to win. [00:39:36] Speaker B: What's your fortitude bonus? [00:39:38] Speaker E: 18. [00:39:39] Speaker B: Oh, okay. Well, with that, I mean, you'd need like a 5 or less to start failing on the track. With vit taking your plus 10, can. [00:39:48] Speaker E: I dip my little pinky into it and just take a little tip of my tongue? Make sure it's to get a little. [00:39:54] Speaker B: Buzzed, but, you know, so it tastes like, let's see. Spicy nutritional yeast mixed with fish sauce. [00:40:06] Speaker E: Oh, just like. No, I'm not going to say that about my mother. Looks like she used to make. No, she wouldn't have made that bad. Do I feel sleepy at all? [00:40:18] Speaker B: Make a Fortitude safe. [00:40:19] Speaker F: Okay, that sounds disgusting. [00:40:23] Speaker G: Smells like something Hamir would make. [00:40:24] Speaker C: It sounds very savory. [00:40:28] Speaker E: Why does everything equal to 20? [00:40:30] Speaker C: You rolled a two. [00:40:31] Speaker E: I rolled a two. [00:40:34] Speaker A: We're not on a great track record. Your next roll. I don't know if we want. [00:40:37] Speaker E: Well, it'll probably be, I don't know, something else here. That equals 20 switch a dice. [00:40:43] Speaker B: You dip your finger in, you taste it and then you just kind of feel like a little sluggish, kind of lightheaded. Like maybe you've had one or too many drinks. Just like. [00:40:56] Speaker E: I think that will work. [00:40:59] Speaker G: Zafir, please don't poison yourself. [00:41:02] Speaker E: I was curious and now I'm not curious anymore. [00:41:06] Speaker G: I don't have that spell prepared to cure poison. [00:41:10] Speaker E: I think I'm fine. [00:41:11] Speaker A: Fine. [00:41:12] Speaker E: It's not gonna kill me. I think. [00:41:18] Speaker F: He'S buzzed. [00:41:21] Speaker E: Can you take me back to my room, sir? [00:41:25] Speaker D: I will take good care of you. Would you like to stay here, tiny giant? [00:41:31] Speaker G: I think subterfuge isn't really my thing, so I'll go back to. [00:41:35] Speaker B: Alright, so Agar carries the both of you back to the room. Are you leaving the poison in the kitchen or do you want him to carry that as well? [00:41:45] Speaker G: I assume he could leave it in the kitchen because he still gotta prepare dinner for the king, right? [00:41:49] Speaker B: That's true, he does. [00:41:50] Speaker G: He needs to use it, so why would he bring it back to us? [00:41:53] Speaker B: That's fair. That's fair. So you're not in the kitchen. And bring both of you back to the bedroom. [00:41:57] Speaker G: So the only other person who could drink his full list, that's five. [00:42:04] Speaker B: So you make your way back to the bedroom. Just as Neros is getting under the bed and beginning her meditation, Agar comes back in with a very drowsy Zafir and Val. [00:42:14] Speaker C: Oh, thank you. [00:42:14] Speaker E: Apple butter. Oh good. I already put my tent up. [00:42:21] Speaker F: Good. [00:42:21] Speaker E: I'm just gonna crawl in there. [00:42:24] Speaker A: There's a portion of the porridge that looks to be have taken out. It is nowhere to be found. [00:42:32] Speaker G: It's in his tummy relocated. [00:42:35] Speaker A: And he says be sure to thank Volus for the porridge. I do believe you can take the rest back. There is no way we could finish it all. [00:42:43] Speaker D: Well, that's true. Are you sure you don't need more to help you grow big and strong? [00:42:51] Speaker A: Small portions are best in. In succession. [00:42:55] Speaker D: All right, well, I'll bring it back then. I'll keep it warm over the fire. [00:42:59] Speaker B: And bring it back. He carries the pot out of the room. [00:43:03] Speaker D: Bye bye, cooking buddy. [00:43:07] Speaker E: Bye. [00:43:09] Speaker A: In the corner there's a smoldering pile as he used ignition. What? [00:43:24] Speaker G: Jordyn, I couldn't resist. Oh my goodness. There's a bathroom right across the hall. [00:43:36] Speaker E: That does raise a question. Does it kind of all Just fall out of the bottom of the cloud? [00:43:39] Speaker C: Or do they have a system? [00:43:43] Speaker A: These are questions we don't need to. [00:43:45] Speaker E: Answer in the right territory. [00:43:49] Speaker B: And then there's hail. [00:43:53] Speaker G: When it pours. [00:43:56] Speaker E: Gives a new definition of crapstorm. [00:43:59] Speaker G: So Zafir poisons himself. But he'll be okay. [00:44:14] Speaker C: He does know sleeping. They want to kill us when we're asleep. [00:44:19] Speaker A: We've already told both of them now that we will not be going to bed at 6 o'. [00:44:23] Speaker C: Clock. [00:44:24] Speaker A: But he. But we can wake him up. [00:44:27] Speaker G: I don't think if one of us is sleeping, they're gonna take that as the opportunity to strike. [00:44:31] Speaker C: I'm just worried if we leave him alone, they're gonna take that as the opportunity to strike. [00:44:35] Speaker G: Well, I don't. Why would we leave him alone? We still got to wait till dinner time. [00:44:38] Speaker C: If he's not awake by then, you're carrying him. [00:44:40] Speaker G: I doubt he's gonna sleep that long. It's like hours away. [00:44:44] Speaker C: If he does an awake by then, can we count him as an object for you for terms of spells? [00:44:50] Speaker A: No. [00:44:50] Speaker B: That's rude. [00:44:52] Speaker E: Yeah, I'm not an object and I can't spell. [00:45:00] Speaker G: Well, I am going to start painting this thing some more, so if anyone has any other ideas pop up, just let me know. And then Val leaps from the bed. [00:45:13] Speaker B: Well, as you guys have mentioned then, because it's been almost an hour since you'd last gotten the time, it's about 11 hours until you had said that you were going to go to sleep. And maybe nine to 10 hours before you would expect this, the Storm King, to be asleep. Is there anything anybody wants to do during that time? Or do we want to fade? Transition? [00:45:36] Speaker E: Can I have a dream? [00:45:42] Speaker B: Zafir. [00:45:44] Speaker C: He's been waiting for this. [00:45:46] Speaker B: You find yourself standing an expanse field of scarlet grass. It comes up about chest height with small seed heads swaying in a gentle breeze. In the distance on a hill, is one single oak tree covered with apples. The sky is calm, a pale blue, almost as if a warm summer day. You head towards this tree. As you approach it, you notice that each of the apples is blighted. There's spots of dark and decay on the apples, and when you pick one, it begins to crumble into dust in your hands. You look at the tree again and you realize that the tree itself is dead and has been dead for a long time. You begin digging at the roots of the tree without even thinking, not even knowing why you're doing what you're doing. And as you dig, you uncover sort of a burrow Like a small creature lives on underneath the tree. And you start to go in, it begins to get cramped. But rather than feeling claustrophobic and frightening, it instead feels somehow comforting and at home. And as you go further and further in, you crawl out of this hole, and there's some sort of door or barrier or something, and it feels like it's made out of clothes cloth. And you pull it aside, and it was a tapestry that was covering a hole in the wall of an ornate throne room. You climb out into this throne room, and there's just this man standing there with, like a curly mustache. [00:47:40] Speaker D: And he's like, ah, Master Zafir, welcome home. [00:47:45] Speaker B: And then you wake. [00:47:49] Speaker A: Up. [00:47:52] Speaker B: What? [00:47:54] Speaker E: I have more than half a mind to think that wasn't come up with on the spot. Come up with. Came up with. Yeah. That. [00:47:59] Speaker A: That did not feel impromptu. [00:48:03] Speaker F: Okay. [00:48:05] Speaker G: You have a dream house now. [00:48:07] Speaker A: Your dream, Batman. [00:48:08] Speaker G: It's Zafir's dream house. Pick it up for only 29.99. [00:48:12] Speaker E: It's my mind palace. [00:48:15] Speaker A: Your dream, Batman. [00:48:17] Speaker B: Zafir. As you wake up from this fever dream, you find yourself in your tent. And you hear the hushed voices of your companions chatting. Everyone, it is now one in the morning. [00:48:32] Speaker F: Chom chomp Neros crawls out from under the bed. [00:48:35] Speaker C: So as I was like, do we need to wait longer or can we go? How long does this poison last? [00:48:41] Speaker E: I think we can go now. [00:48:43] Speaker G: Yes. [00:48:43] Speaker A: Alert. [00:48:44] Speaker G: I think now's a good time. [00:48:45] Speaker E: So real quick, are we. I mean, I wasn't here for any of this conversation, so please keep me updated. Are we killing him or are we just taking the ground? [00:48:52] Speaker F: I think we'll just take. [00:48:53] Speaker A: We're gonna try and take the crown. [00:48:55] Speaker G: Just take the crown? Yeah. [00:48:56] Speaker E: Are we all going or are we going to try to not be super? [00:49:00] Speaker C: You know, we're really tiny, so I feel like even if we all go, it's gonna be fine. [00:49:05] Speaker F: I just feel nervous. [00:49:06] Speaker A: Whenever we get the crown, remember to touch me and we will teleport out of here. [00:49:11] Speaker F: Oh, I feel nervous splitting up, so I feel like we should all just go together. [00:49:16] Speaker E: That's a good point. [00:49:17] Speaker A: I did say that I would take a walk for these old knees. I think now is a good time to take that walk. [00:49:24] Speaker F: We're just accompanying him. [00:49:25] Speaker E: Well, now I'm curious. Did he drink or eat that poison? [00:49:30] Speaker F: Well, that was up to what's his face to make sure got in his food. [00:49:34] Speaker G: It's true. We actually have no idea right now. [00:49:36] Speaker E: Yeah, one little taste kind of knocked me out for several hours. So I think, you know, a gallon or so. [00:49:41] Speaker A: So do you want to go check and make sure that it got used? [00:49:44] Speaker G: I mean, if he's in his bedroom and he's kind of sleeping. Either ways. Either way, right? I mean, if he wakes up, he wakes up. [00:49:53] Speaker E: Did you guys try to wake me up at all? [00:49:55] Speaker G: I. No, I did. [00:49:57] Speaker E: Oh. [00:49:57] Speaker F: I was meditating. I don't know what happened. [00:49:59] Speaker G: I've been painting. [00:50:00] Speaker C: I shook you a bit with my mage hand. [00:50:02] Speaker E: All right. I was curious because I wanted to know how. Well, I've never used this on myself before, and most of the people I've used it on have not woken up. [00:50:10] Speaker G: How was your sleep? [00:50:12] Speaker E: Interesting. I'm sure it has no lore implications in my story at all, but did. [00:50:19] Speaker G: You feel well, rested? [00:50:22] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:50:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:50:25] Speaker G: No. [00:50:27] Speaker C: Does that count as a long rest for him specifically? [00:50:30] Speaker D: Why not? [00:50:31] Speaker E: What is it, eight hours? [00:50:32] Speaker G: That was like eight. [00:50:34] Speaker B: Were asleep for 10 hours after being. [00:50:37] Speaker G: Asleep for eight hours and awake for like, three. My goodness. [00:50:40] Speaker D: No. [00:50:40] Speaker E: None of my spell slots were actually used anyway, so. [00:50:42] Speaker C: Oh, well, let's get. [00:50:44] Speaker F: Let's get going. [00:50:45] Speaker G: Yeah. Sneaky time. [00:50:48] Speaker B: Who is taking point for sneaking with the group? [00:50:52] Speaker G: I repainted my armor black again. [00:50:55] Speaker C: You repainted your armor? I'm going to be close to the first front because I can open the doors. [00:51:03] Speaker E: I was thinking I could lead the group, considering a lot of stealth. [00:51:08] Speaker B: All right, I want stealth checks from everyone. No, no, go ahead and roll them yourself. We don't need to do these secret checks. [00:51:17] Speaker G: For the first time in a long time, Val has repainted her kind of black and dark purple galaxy look to her armor. And so she's helmeted back up so she's as stealthy as possible. [00:51:29] Speaker F: That's not bad. That's not bad, Neros. [00:51:30] Speaker B: That's not bad. [00:51:31] Speaker E: Yes. [00:51:32] Speaker F: Did you just roll a natural 20? [00:51:33] Speaker G: No, I rolled a 19 though. [00:51:35] Speaker A: No, I think for this one, it might be worth a hero point. [00:51:39] Speaker B: Oh, what'd you get? [00:51:43] Speaker F: What you roll, friends? [00:51:44] Speaker A: I rolled a three. [00:51:45] Speaker E: Oh, it's a good thing I switched dice. [00:51:48] Speaker G: I rolled a 33, by the way. [00:51:50] Speaker B: All right, Albert. [00:51:53] Speaker C: I haven't rolled yet because I was checking to see if I can give any bonuses whatsoever. [00:51:57] Speaker B: Well, While you're rolling Zafir 35, did. [00:52:00] Speaker G: We need to do a follow the expert or anything like that? [00:52:03] Speaker B: I don't know. Is anybody an expert in stealth? [00:52:05] Speaker E: Yes. [00:52:06] Speaker B: Oh, and Zafir is taking points. [00:52:09] Speaker G: What is that? Did that makes the worst person roll stealth? [00:52:12] Speaker B: No. So the way that follow the expert works is you guys would Be kind of taking cues from Zafir and matching his techniques. So then everybody would get a two circumstance bonus to your check. And you can add your level even if you're untrained. [00:52:26] Speaker C: Okay, I like that. [00:52:27] Speaker E: Except for me. [00:52:28] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:52:29] Speaker B: You're unaffected because they're mooching off of your skill. [00:52:32] Speaker C: So it basically makes you trained. [00:52:33] Speaker B: Basically. [00:52:34] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:52:36] Speaker B: And if you're already trained, you still get that plus two circumstance bonus. [00:52:39] Speaker G: Oh, that means I got a 35. [00:52:42] Speaker A: 29 neros 34. Ooh. [00:52:47] Speaker C: And Alward, thanks to the follow the expert, I got a 20. I rolled a four. [00:52:55] Speaker G: That's the same number as your bonus. [00:52:57] Speaker B: You begin sneaking out of your bedroom. And as soon as you exit the bedroom, you notice Agarg sitting on like a sofa sort of. It's a fantasy sofa in the hallway. [00:53:11] Speaker G: I see that. [00:53:11] Speaker B: And he's just like. You know when your dad came home from work and he turns on the TV and immediately falls asleep. He's in that posture just. [00:53:22] Speaker F: It's so specific. [00:53:24] Speaker E: TV's got static playing on the side there. [00:53:26] Speaker B: Yeah, he's got like one of those like old, like 1970s, like two TVs. And it's just like. [00:53:35] Speaker G: This is an atomic broadcasting production. [00:53:39] Speaker A: You are listening. [00:53:41] Speaker B: Do you know where Atomic broadcasting day. [00:53:43] Speaker G: So we wake him up and have him help us. No, no sounds good. [00:53:50] Speaker F: Everyone immediately like, no, Val, shut up. [00:53:52] Speaker C: What are you talking about? [00:53:55] Speaker G: You just seemed really gung ho to help us. [00:53:57] Speaker C: He's helping us by being asleep. [00:53:58] Speaker A: We will help him. [00:54:00] Speaker B: Okay, you sneak your way up to the door on the north side of that room. WD40, Albert's telekinetic hand pulls the lever and you all carefully push it aside. [00:54:15] Speaker E: The fierce telekinetic hand pulls it the other direction. And then we look at each other and then we decide, oh, let's go down. And then we both go the opposite down. [00:54:21] Speaker C: Is there enough space underneath for us to just go under? [00:54:25] Speaker B: Yeah, you could shimmy under these doors. [00:54:27] Speaker C: Then why are we opening them? [00:54:28] Speaker D: I don't know. [00:54:28] Speaker G: I just was assuming you'd want common Curtis. [00:54:32] Speaker B: So you close the door. [00:54:34] Speaker D: Shimmy underneath. [00:54:36] Speaker F: Can we just retcon that we never opened the door? [00:54:39] Speaker B: Yeah. So you. You look at the door and you think we could open that. But why go through the door when we can go under? [00:54:46] Speaker G: We would never. [00:54:46] Speaker A: Can we look underneath the door before we go under? [00:54:49] Speaker B: Sure. [00:54:50] Speaker F: Guys, I can pretend to be a beetle. [00:54:53] Speaker A: Yeah. Why are you rolling so many dice? [00:54:57] Speaker C: Because he needs to know. [00:54:58] Speaker A: Plus 20 perception. [00:54:59] Speaker B: No reason is being a beetle beat us you look under the door, and the room ahead is empty. A lone dust bunny, right, Rolls across the room like a tumbleweed. [00:55:09] Speaker E: Somebody catch it. I've got a rabbit soup to make. [00:55:12] Speaker C: Not that kind of bunny. [00:55:14] Speaker B: You all shimmy under the door, and to your left, you see a spiraling staircase heading up to the second floor. [00:55:21] Speaker C: Is that. Is that the one? [00:55:23] Speaker B: Probably. [00:55:23] Speaker F: I think so. [00:55:25] Speaker A: Okay. [00:55:27] Speaker F: There's only one way to find out. [00:55:28] Speaker E: They go up. [00:55:29] Speaker A: It is the only staircase that. Actually, that is the direction that he said to go up. [00:55:35] Speaker C: I feel like there's, like, so many staircases here. [00:55:37] Speaker G: Wait, real quick. Hold on. [00:55:39] Speaker C: Holding. [00:55:39] Speaker G: I crawl back under the door. I want to go peek into the throat or to make sure he's not sleeping where he had dinner. [00:55:46] Speaker C: Oh, that's a good. [00:55:47] Speaker F: Yeah, that's fair. [00:55:49] Speaker E: Actually, I was thinking about checking the kitchen, but I don't know. I feel like that would waste time. [00:55:54] Speaker G: If it's just fast acting. He just fell asleep where he ate. [00:55:59] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. [00:56:02] Speaker B: If we gave out hero points in mid session. [00:56:06] Speaker F: That's hilarious. [00:56:08] Speaker B: The Storm King is still sitting at his throne in the main room, just snoring away. He is cutting logs. [00:56:16] Speaker A: Oh, all right. [00:56:18] Speaker C: Okay. [00:56:20] Speaker G: Val sneakily rushes to the door, puts her head through the door, underneath it. Guys, he's sleeping in the food room. [00:56:30] Speaker F: Oh, the food room. [00:56:32] Speaker A: That actually makes a lot of sense. [00:56:34] Speaker C: We could sneak around. [00:56:35] Speaker G: He's snoring so loudly. [00:56:37] Speaker B: Don't worry about him. [00:56:38] Speaker A: Okay, okay. [00:56:39] Speaker C: Never mind. We can just go through the doors. [00:56:43] Speaker G: Come on, let's go. Get him. [00:56:47] Speaker A: Gut him. [00:56:47] Speaker G: No. [00:56:52] Speaker F: You know the flawless Scottish accent. [00:56:55] Speaker E: I'm going to flank to the other side where I previously climbed up with needles. [00:57:03] Speaker B: All right, gang, what is the plan? [00:57:07] Speaker F: Snatch it off his head. [00:57:08] Speaker A: Take it off his head, meet me and Val, run back to the room, spend 10 minutes, just do a teleport. [00:57:12] Speaker C: Get out of town, meet me and Val can fly? [00:57:15] Speaker F: Oh, yeah. [00:57:16] Speaker G: So can Sigern. [00:57:17] Speaker C: I do. [00:57:18] Speaker F: We want Sigan to just you, you know, off the head with her talons. [00:57:23] Speaker G: Me and Sigurd with his head. Me and Sigur could walk off the head. [00:57:26] Speaker F: Not with his head. [00:57:27] Speaker G: If you don't want to. If you want to, like, maybe. Or do you want to fly and hold off? [00:57:31] Speaker C: No, I. I'm not. [00:57:32] Speaker G: The three of us could all carry it. [00:57:34] Speaker C: I'm not too strong. And that crown looks incredibly large. [00:57:39] Speaker G: Heavy is the crown. [00:57:42] Speaker C: I was trying to avoid saying. [00:57:43] Speaker G: All right, my tattoo feathers starts going down my face into my armor, and then out pops behind me, two black wings. [00:57:54] Speaker C: You can control the color of your wings. [00:57:56] Speaker G: They've always been black. [00:57:56] Speaker C: Oh, okay, I misunderstood. [00:57:59] Speaker A: Like a raven. Like a raven. [00:58:01] Speaker B: So is it Val and Sigurin working as a unit? [00:58:05] Speaker G: I guess so. [00:58:06] Speaker F: I can't fly, so I don't know why you were looking at me. [00:58:11] Speaker B: Sam, I'm going to need a thievery check. [00:58:14] Speaker C: I would like to prepare an action. [00:58:16] Speaker B: What's this? [00:58:17] Speaker C: Telekinetic hull. In case they drop the crown. [00:58:21] Speaker D: Okay. [00:58:21] Speaker C: I can target one object of up to 80 bulk with no dimensions larger than 20ft. I can sustain up to one minute, and it has a range of 120ft. And it just sort of carries it wherever I want as long as I sustain it. [00:58:36] Speaker B: What did you say the limit on it was? [00:58:39] Speaker C: 80 bulk. So 800 pounds and no larger than 20ft. In dimensions which I hope his head is not 20ft. [00:58:46] Speaker B: No, you're good. [00:58:47] Speaker C: Okay. [00:58:48] Speaker E: I would also like to prepare a spell. After climbing up on the table as quietly as possible, paralyze in case I see him stirring. [00:58:58] Speaker G: He just wakes with sleep paralysis. [00:59:02] Speaker E: I stand there. I am your sleep paralysis demon. [00:59:06] Speaker G: Here's my card. If you enjoyed the experience, please rate me on five stars. [00:59:13] Speaker E: If you peed your pants, put me on Yelp. Five stars. [00:59:16] Speaker C: Yelp. [00:59:18] Speaker B: All right. [00:59:19] Speaker C: Yeah, it's very good. [00:59:21] Speaker G: So I rolled a four, and then I spent my hero point and I rolled a 19. So I got my total of 33. [00:59:30] Speaker B: Plus 2 from Sigur and helping you. [00:59:32] Speaker G: Oh, right. Sigur. Wait, is Sickard better at theory than me? I need to look at this. [00:59:38] Speaker B: I'm just counting it as a plus two. Cuz you guys work as a unit all the time. [00:59:42] Speaker G: Yeah. Sweet. Yes. Okay, so the same thing I rolled for stealth. 35. [00:59:49] Speaker B: The two of you reach up, grab this crown to your perspective. It's like four, five feet in diameter, and on either side, you slowly lift it off of the Storm King's head. His head kind of tilts forward a little bit as it slides up from the backrest of the chair and his head back against the chair. [01:00:16] Speaker G: Oh, that's so cool. [01:00:19] Speaker B: As the crown leaves his head though, all of the crackling electricity that formed his hair and beard starts kind of becoming more erratic and spurting. And the cloud castle around you begins to just kind of like shake and tremble a bit. [01:00:38] Speaker G: The castle. [01:00:40] Speaker B: Yep. And that's where we end this episode. [01:00:42] Speaker C: Oh no. [01:00:43] Speaker E: I can't paralyze an entire cloud. [01:00:48] Speaker C: I can't carry an entire castle. [01:00:50] Speaker G: I can. [01:00:53] Speaker E: The rest of Alward's years are spent just carrying a castle around. That's how his story ends. [01:01:00] Speaker B: All right. And the hero point for this episode goes to Sam for that catch of checking the throne room banquet hall before heading upstairs. [01:01:12] Speaker F: It was such a smart move. [01:01:15] Speaker E: We still would be in another episode at this point. [01:01:18] Speaker G: Well, we were discussing finding his room. I was like, he just sleeps in there anyway. Like he may not even need a room if you might just sleep in there. And then Bolas or whoever said that he sleeps there. Like he spends a lot of time there. Like surely he sleeps in there. And I almost forgot. I was gonna look at it right away. We went through the door. I almost completely forgot to turn around. But thank you for this. I'm gonna go home, probably have some more leftover soup. There's so much soup. Lots of soup. [01:01:47] Speaker F: It's soup season. [01:01:48] Speaker E: No feathers. [01:01:49] Speaker A: Me your soup. Yeah, no feathers in your soup, though. [01:01:52] Speaker G: Yeah, that was porridge, unfortunately. Is porridge a soup? Let us know in the Discord and. [01:02:01] Speaker B: We will see you all in the next episode. This has been an Atomic Broadcasting production. If you enjoyed the show, make sure to give us some support by liking, commenting and following. These things really do make a difference in getting the word out and helping our community grow. Also, make sure to check us out on threads and check out the Discord server where you can chat with other fans and discuss all the recent developments and happenings. Links to all these good things in the description below. The Written and the Lost is an original story that uses trademarks and or copyrights owned by Paizo, Inc. Used under Paizo's Fan Content Policy. Atomic Broadcasting and the Written and the Lost are not published, endorsed, or specifically approved by Paizo. For more information about Paizo, Inc. And paizo products, visit paizo.com hope to see you all in the next episode. Until then, have an atomic time. I'm lost. One second. [01:02:57] Speaker A: The man is lost. We are all lost. The world is no more. [01:03:03] Speaker C: I found it. [01:03:04] Speaker A: Nope, behind the. [01:03:06] Speaker E: Behind the cabinet. [01:03:07] Speaker G: The world. Yeah, behind the cabinet. [01:03:11] Speaker E: Just like Narnia. [01:03:12] Speaker A: Narnia, Narnia, Narnia, Narnia. [01:03:17] Speaker E: Business. [01:03:20] Speaker A: Southern Narnia.