EP. 126 Dancing Queen

[00:00:05] Speaker A: You are listening to an atomic broadcasting production. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the feature presentation. And remember, do your part. Such as, like, comment rate, and don't forget to tell a friend to tune in for an atomic time. [00:00:32] Speaker B: Now, where do we leave off? [00:00:36] Speaker A: Ah, yes. [00:00:39] Speaker B: After a much belated funeral, Val performed a ritual to commune with nearby spirits, accidentally summoning the displaced spirit of Alward's father. Alward got to speak with his father one last time. For Bahzok bade Val guide the spirits of Kadriel and the lost Children to the afterlife. All right, Jacob, are we recording? Yes. [00:01:09] Speaker C: Good. I have a rant. Okay. So, no, it's not really that bad. I went to Goodwill yesterday. [00:01:15] Speaker D: Oh, that's a rant in and of itself. [00:01:17] Speaker C: And I bought a videotape. It was the Disney sing along songs. [00:01:20] Speaker E: Okay. [00:01:21] Speaker C: It had. I think it was the Jungle Book on the front. No, I don't remember which one it was. It was volume 11. But then after buying it for 24 cents. By the way, that was really good. It's a VHS tape. There was like, seven VHS tapes there. Anyway, I opened it up. I was like, man, I should probably check this to see. Opened it up. It was the wrong. It was a sing along song, but it wasn't the right version. And I'm not that upset. But like, here. Here's the rant. If you're gonna donate something, at least check to make sure it's the right thing. If you're gonna donate a dvd, make sure it's in the right case. If you're gonna donate a video cassette, put it in the right case. Especially if it's part of a series. [00:02:03] Speaker E: This feels like the shopping cart issue all over again. [00:02:06] Speaker C: What is the shopping cart issue? [00:02:07] Speaker E: So it's this thing where it's like. And I forgot where it stems from. But, like, the test of a good person is rather. Or not, they put the shopping cart up because it has no effect on anything and it only inconveniences you slightly. And that feels like it's in the same vein. And I butchered it. There's a little more to it, but it feels like that's in the same vein. [00:02:28] Speaker C: I see where you're going with it, but it is more than an inconvenience because I did buy an object that was not. [00:02:32] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:02:33] Speaker E: And it's more than an inconvenience when a shopping cart hits your car. [00:02:35] Speaker B: More than an inconvenience to me. [00:02:39] Speaker E: Put your shopping carts up, people. It brings me unimaginable rage. [00:02:45] Speaker D: That's Jenkins's rant. [00:02:46] Speaker E: It is. I. I spend way more time in [00:02:49] Speaker F: parking lots than I should, and it's such an easy thing to do. [00:02:53] Speaker C: It really is. A lot of times I just take my cart back into the store because, [00:02:56] Speaker F: like, your whole car [00:03:00] Speaker E: putting up shopping carts, Jordy. [00:03:02] Speaker B: Oh, okay. Not dealing drugs. [00:03:05] Speaker C: Who said anything? [00:03:06] Speaker E: We don't talk about that. [00:03:10] Speaker F: Drugs. [00:03:12] Speaker B: Adding that to the list of things we don't talk about. [00:03:14] Speaker A: Don't, don't. [00:03:16] Speaker F: Unless medically prescribed by a doctor. [00:03:19] Speaker B: So far, my list has Sam's attire, Bruno, and drugs. [00:03:23] Speaker E: Why did you talk about Sam's attire? [00:03:25] Speaker B: I was listing off the things we don't talk about. [00:03:27] Speaker F: I'm not a tire, I'm a man. [00:03:29] Speaker C: It's the tire on his cart. [00:03:33] Speaker F: Thank you, Sven. [00:03:37] Speaker C: Well, I don't have anything else. Like I told you, it was a short rant. [00:03:40] Speaker E: I agree with you. [00:03:41] Speaker C: I mean, I was listening to one episode a while back about the whole N64 controller thing, and that was stupid. I still agree with myself, but, like, the video. [00:03:54] Speaker D: Well, at least you agree with yourself. [00:03:56] Speaker C: We were talking about it before an episode one time, and I was like, yeah, I'm very glad I got to say that. But [00:04:06] Speaker A: in the end, it is subjective. [00:04:07] Speaker D: In the end, doesn't even matter. [00:04:12] Speaker F: It's pretty cool. [00:04:14] Speaker B: It's. [00:04:14] Speaker E: No, it doesn't matter. [00:04:15] Speaker A: Makes me feel old, honestly. [00:04:16] Speaker C: The N64 controller. [00:04:18] Speaker D: We are getting older. [00:04:20] Speaker A: The N64 controller makes me feel old [00:04:23] Speaker F: because it's been, like, 60 years. [00:04:25] Speaker C: Yeah, you know, it's great. [00:04:28] Speaker D: 60 years. [00:04:29] Speaker F: It's 26. 1964 was a long time ago. [00:04:32] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. That's what the 64 means, definitely. [00:04:37] Speaker F: Well, yeah. [00:04:39] Speaker C: No, Sam, it's 64 bits, two shapes, two bits, and a haircut. [00:04:44] Speaker B: It's going to be 30 years in September since the N64 released. [00:04:49] Speaker F: That doesn't seem like. [00:04:50] Speaker A: What? [00:04:50] Speaker E: At least in 1996. [00:04:52] Speaker B: That is correct. [00:04:53] Speaker F: That's when I was born. [00:04:54] Speaker C: Whoa. [00:04:55] Speaker F: I'm older than the N64. [00:04:57] Speaker B: Yeah, me too. [00:05:01] Speaker F: I'm actually probably younger because I doubt it came out in the three days before the end of the year. [00:05:05] Speaker D: I'm barely younger. [00:05:06] Speaker C: Collectively, we are all older than a lot of things. [00:05:10] Speaker A: Collectively. [00:05:11] Speaker C: Not collectively, but, like, as a group, we are all older. Like, we're older than. [00:05:15] Speaker D: I think I'm the youngest of all of you. [00:05:18] Speaker C: You're still probably older than Google. [00:05:19] Speaker A: Yeah, I think I'm second oldest at the table. [00:05:23] Speaker B: I don't like where this line of questioning is going. [00:05:27] Speaker D: I know. [00:05:28] Speaker E: Well, let's just move past this. [00:05:32] Speaker B: Let's go ahead and jump back into the game. We're gonna pick things up right where we left off. As Val has just stepped through the door to the dead roads. Barzok walked in behind her, and this rippling terror in reality just ceases to move and everything is still again. [00:05:53] Speaker C: So is she, like, gonna come back here when she comes back, or is she gonna come back some. Like, where we are? Do we stay here or she just can meet up with us later? Or how fast does this trip go? [00:06:06] Speaker A: Or how quickly do you want to go tell a village that their children are no longer coming home? [00:06:14] Speaker C: You know, you're right. But I really don't want to stay here. [00:06:18] Speaker A: If you wish to start the trip, I will wait for her. [00:06:22] Speaker B: I can show you the way. [00:06:25] Speaker E: That's very kind of you. [00:06:28] Speaker A: Who said that [00:06:30] Speaker B: a glowing orb just floats up to you all? [00:06:36] Speaker E: What is that? [00:06:37] Speaker B: It's me. We had, like, long conversations on the way here. [00:06:42] Speaker D: Wait, are you the lamp? [00:06:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:44] Speaker E: Okay, was anybody else thinking the lamp was a child? [00:06:47] Speaker C: I just thought it was a lamp. [00:06:49] Speaker D: What are you? [00:06:50] Speaker A: I thought you were a Fae. [00:06:52] Speaker B: Yeah, I am. I am the essence of light and chance. The orb kind of just starts, like, bouncing back and forth through the Roomba. [00:07:02] Speaker C: Were you just inside the lamp or. [00:07:04] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, I was just stuck. [00:07:05] Speaker C: Nobody opened the door. [00:07:07] Speaker B: Well, a few minutes ago, all of the magic threads that were holding it shut just fell apart. [00:07:13] Speaker C: How did you make the lamp bounce? [00:07:16] Speaker B: I work out. [00:07:17] Speaker F: It was when you destroyed the house, [00:07:19] Speaker A: I bet you said a few minutes ago. Yes. [00:07:22] Speaker B: Yeah, that chant checks out. Yeah, that house, boy. Whoo. That really fell apart. Somebody did not do a good job with the foundations. I'll tell you what. [00:07:32] Speaker E: The threads were tied to the house. Oh, now we're just like. [00:07:40] Speaker C: Yeah, of course. [00:07:44] Speaker A: Cue me, Sven. Going. Something I did for thematics actually had an effect in the world. [00:07:52] Speaker C: Wait, what? What? What threads are you talking about? [00:07:55] Speaker A: Uvaire hasn't seen the threads. You mentioned the threads. [00:07:59] Speaker C: Yeah, he's mumbling to himself. [00:08:01] Speaker E: Are you specifically talking about the threads for the this or in general, in [00:08:07] Speaker C: whatever you were just referencing? [00:08:09] Speaker B: Yeah, I also mentioned the magic threads. [00:08:12] Speaker C: That's. [00:08:12] Speaker A: This is true. [00:08:13] Speaker C: We're not talking to you. [00:08:14] Speaker B: Okay, hold on. I'll just dance over here. He continues kind of bouncing and dancing. [00:08:19] Speaker D: I'm going to walk up to the orb. [00:08:23] Speaker B: Oh, hey, you want to dance with me? [00:08:24] Speaker D: Yes, I do. Stress dance party. [00:08:27] Speaker B: Cool. Stress dancing. And he kind of like glows like a reddish orange and starts, like, vibrating really fast. [00:08:34] Speaker D: Yep. [00:08:37] Speaker A: You just see. [00:08:37] Speaker D: You just see Neros dancing over there. Violently. [00:08:42] Speaker E: Nero, she's in a one person mosh pit. [00:08:44] Speaker C: I think she's having a seizure. Somebody riding on the train. Anyway, Halwood, what are you talking about? [00:08:56] Speaker E: What? [00:08:57] Speaker C: You remembering the threads? [00:08:59] Speaker E: I. Oh, I thought I explained. [00:09:05] Speaker C: Right, that makes a lot of sense. [00:09:07] Speaker E: Sophia, I'm sorry. I just had to say goodbye to my father again. [00:09:12] Speaker C: Right, yes, I know that, but there's a lot of things I don't know. What's happening now? [00:09:19] Speaker E: The witch was using threads of something like mine, like the time thread. You know, the time threads. [00:09:27] Speaker C: Yay. [00:09:29] Speaker E: To trap things. And the lantern had a bunch of it around it. I tried fixing it. It didn't work. Uva tried fixing it. It's good. It's finished. They were tied to the house. Or the yarn in the house. [00:09:43] Speaker C: What about the spaghetti? Was that possibly the yarn? [00:09:47] Speaker E: Possibly. [00:09:49] Speaker B: As this conversation is continuing, the air where Val had left begins to sort of raise, ripple, and cast shadows on itself again. And Val steps back out into the material plane and the air behind her goes still as the portal closes again. [00:10:07] Speaker C: Oh, there you are. [00:10:11] Speaker F: Yeah, hi. [00:10:13] Speaker A: Are they safe? [00:10:15] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:10:16] Speaker E: Do you look normal? [00:10:18] Speaker F: Yes. [00:10:19] Speaker D: Okay, that's a valid question. [00:10:22] Speaker E: It is a valid question. [00:10:23] Speaker F: I think as she was stepping out, if you looked right at it, you would have seen a second of her looking like that again, sort of with like a hood up. So you didn't really see her face. But then. Yeah, then as she stepped out, she kind of flickered back to normal. [00:10:39] Speaker C: So we gonna leave now? I really don't want to be here anymore. [00:10:46] Speaker E: We'll follow the wisp back. [00:10:49] Speaker C: I don't want to follow what he's doing right now. [00:10:50] Speaker B: He's. [00:10:52] Speaker C: He's vibrating very quickly. [00:10:54] Speaker E: He's aiming. [00:10:55] Speaker C: I can walk and vibrate. [00:10:55] Speaker B: And he starts like vibrating towards town. [00:10:59] Speaker A: We need to leave. And Uvaire is just going to get up from where he's been sitting and walk after the wisp. [00:11:11] Speaker C: I follow. [00:11:13] Speaker B: You continue on back the way you came. The wisp guides you through the safe path, through the woods again. And without the witches entanglements to threaten you. And with the ice worms still sort of shunted off from your previous escapade and you knowing to stay on the shoreline of that lake, you encounter no challenges or real difficulties to speak of before you once again enter Woodhurst, the small town. [00:11:45] Speaker C: Is it still just that one lean to with the smoking chimney? [00:11:51] Speaker B: Yes. Yeah, there's still just the one house where Ivan's family would live. That's still smoking. [00:11:56] Speaker C: No, I'm talking about the. The guy with the shop. [00:11:59] Speaker B: Oh, yes, the trader, actually. Yeah. Now there's two, because there's a fire in the trader's house and there's also a fire in Ivan's family's house. [00:12:07] Speaker C: So we should know where Iva's family's house is. [00:12:09] Speaker A: Everything else is abandoned. [00:12:10] Speaker B: There are no other fires going right now. [00:12:11] Speaker A: Okay. [00:12:13] Speaker C: Well, I would assume we should probably. Well, it's at least good news for Ivan's family. [00:12:24] Speaker A: Uvaire is going to walk straight to Ivan's family and knock on the door. [00:12:30] Speaker B: So you walk up to Ivan's family's house and knock on the door, Uvaire. And it's. It takes a while. Nobody answers. You knock again, and eventually Ivan's mother comes to answer the door, and she's happy, tears streaming down her face, and she's just like, you're back. And Ivan, I. I don't know what to say. Just. He came flying in on a giant bird and we are feeding the bird. I don't know if this is a messenger from the gods or what, but. Oh, thank you so much. [00:13:01] Speaker A: Uber is gonna have a small smile as he sees their joy. It doesn't quite reach his eyes. I am glad to see that he is safe. I've wanted to make sure. I also wanted to say you should leave this town. [00:13:24] Speaker B: But why? I thought. Didn't you. I thought you killed the witch. Right? [00:13:32] Speaker A: The witch is dead. She will not be troubling anyone anymore. But none of the children will come back either. Ivan is the last. [00:13:45] Speaker B: I was hoping that you might bring better news, but that was what we had expected. [00:13:56] Speaker A: I say this only as advice for the sake of Ivan. You should start anew somewhere else. Somewhere where he can make new friends and not walk past the echoes and the memories of his old that will never be coming back. Start your story anew somewhere else. [00:14:22] Speaker B: Thank you, Sir Dwarf. We. We'll take that into consideration. And with that, we'll sort of draw a bit of a veil and sort of step away from this scene a little bit. Leave the people of Woodhurst to process this information you've brought back. Sam, you told me that Val was gonna go door to door and just sort of let people know what had happened, having just guided these souls into the afterlife, just providing some comfort and closure. Once you have all completed this rather grim but necessary task, you make your way back to where you had parked your cloud castle and return to your mobile headquarters with one more quest complete. [00:15:22] Speaker C: So now we have the crown, the weird thing. And were we supposed to do anything else? [00:15:32] Speaker E: There's the one. The sword. And then there was another one. I'm sorry, I can't remember it right now. [00:15:43] Speaker F: It's. [00:15:44] Speaker C: It's all right. Uwehr, do you remember the Ifrit's heart? [00:15:51] Speaker A: That is corner with an old acquaintance of mine or friend. Orvus of Idra. [00:16:01] Speaker C: So we're going after one of your old friend's heart. [00:16:05] Speaker A: As for how we get it, it's me going home. Really? And speaking with my friend. I don't think we all have to go. I can take care of it. Or, you know, it wouldn't have to take all of us. [00:16:25] Speaker C: Well, I'm all right with that. I think if we, I don't know, float back to Joel. [00:16:31] Speaker A: Yes. All I would really need is to be dropped off at Kalsgar, so I could take the teleportation circle to Tarkasmuk. From there, I can meet up with Orvus. [00:16:44] Speaker C: All right, let's. Let's go talk to Nero. She's driving this thing so well. [00:16:51] Speaker F: Val's been pretty, you know, quiet and reserved, and she's wearing a bigger cloak right now than she normally does. She's like, if that's what some of us are going to do. And what are the rest of the party going to do during that? [00:17:07] Speaker C: I think I need some time. [00:17:10] Speaker F: Okay. [00:17:10] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm gonna play it off. That Uber didn't notice that you said if that's what we are supposed to do. [00:17:21] Speaker C: I'm gonna take some time and just reflect. [00:17:26] Speaker E: I'd say, well, probably speak with Se? A Die and find some one that's close by. [00:17:33] Speaker F: Okay. [00:17:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:35] Speaker B: All right. So with your plans settled, Abby, are you flying the castle then to Carlsgard, or. Where are we going? [00:17:46] Speaker C: You driving this bus? [00:17:48] Speaker D: I will go wherever people need me to go. Is that a good enough answer? [00:17:56] Speaker B: All right. To Carl's guard. [00:17:58] Speaker E: Oh, it's Carl who's being guarded. [00:18:00] Speaker A: Yeah, say Carl, not Carl's. [00:18:03] Speaker F: I thought it was Carl's guard. [00:18:04] Speaker A: Carl's guard. [00:18:05] Speaker B: Yeah, it is Carl's guard. [00:18:06] Speaker E: It's Cows guard. [00:18:07] Speaker B: No, Carl's just cows. Just cows guarding the cows. We have Cal's Guard Calzone. [00:18:14] Speaker A: The Cal Zone, famous for the calzones. [00:18:18] Speaker B: Anyway, if you begin now and just fly directly to Kalsgaard, you'll be able to get there by noon tomorrow. [00:18:28] Speaker A: Time for a nap that works for a long rest. [00:18:33] Speaker C: I'm gonna freaking sleep right in the courtyard. Just in the floor, right next to the tree. [00:18:39] Speaker F: The next morning, Val had gone pretty quickly up to her room and went to sleep, and I. She woke up she's been thinking about Zephyr more. She is still very bundled up. She is still feeling a bit of that cold that she felt when Barzak appeared. And she's, like, kind of trying to compensate with that, but it's not really a feeling of actually cold, so she doesn't really know how to handle it. But then she comes out of the. Into the courtyard where Zephyr has been sleeping the night away. Zephyr, are you awake? [00:19:21] Speaker C: I, for the most part, still got his eyes closed. [00:19:26] Speaker F: I wanted to just touch base about yesterday. [00:19:33] Speaker C: Yeah, that was quite a lot, wasn't it? [00:19:37] Speaker F: Yeah. After we took Kadriel's body out there, you really switched on things. And I know that, you know, there's a lot. A lot of terrible things were going on, but I wanted to make sure you're okay. You know, your eyes had turned back to red like they were before. [00:20:02] Speaker C: What? [00:20:02] Speaker F: You weren't okay. [00:20:04] Speaker C: But the they. And I open my eyes, and they are still red. What do you mean they're still red? Or they're. They're what? [00:20:12] Speaker F: They're still red right now. Zephyr, [00:20:17] Speaker C: I'm. I don't. [00:20:20] Speaker F: I don't know what causes it or what exactly all of that's going on, but I wanted to be here with you or for you, you know, to help if I could. [00:20:35] Speaker C: I don't know if there's anything that you can do to help. And it's not like a disease or anything. I honestly didn't even know about it until Hoover mentioned it a while back, but I didn't know that they had gone back. I guess maybe it had something to do with turning into a raven. I wasn't exactly fully myself at that point. [00:21:05] Speaker F: I mean, that's fair. But you seemed like. When you were running in there, you started. You looked different. Just looking at you in that moment, like someone else, I felt like someone else. [00:21:22] Speaker C: I felt like how I used to be, but I felt like I had more righteous intention. I was there to right wrongs, but I was furious. [00:21:37] Speaker F: Val's gonna come over and just kind of lay down next to you in the grass. I understand that desire, you know, to right wrongs, but it's a dangerous slope, letting anger and vengeance cloud that desire. We can't always save everyone. [00:22:06] Speaker C: And I can't always solve it myself, can I? [00:22:10] Speaker F: Very few can. [00:22:13] Speaker C: I wanted to. I wanted to tear her apart myself. But Neros got to her first. I'm glad she's not a problem anymore. But I wanted justice. It's all I ever wanted. With my bounty hunting. To tear apart a family like that is just cruel. And I think that whoever does it deserves judgment. [00:22:42] Speaker F: Cruelty doesn't repair cruelty, against cruelty doesn't fix anything. It just continues the strain of the problem. [00:22:52] Speaker C: But if there's not negative repercussions for something, what's to stop anybody else from doing it? [00:23:00] Speaker F: Sometimes grace and love lead to greater results. People will be the way people are, but we can break cycles to save people. I believe that most people can be saved, redeemed, even when they've done something terrible. And I think that that's a good thing. [00:23:32] Speaker C: Is that why you're wanting to be an Usher? To lead those who no longer have a chance in life, to lead them onto something maybe better? [00:23:46] Speaker F: I don't know. I'm still kind of figuring all that out. I. I've spent most of my life trying to make my own decisions because so many of my decisions were made for me. And doing that has only led me to get used more and more, to have less decisions and less truth. And I feel like I'm just living a life of purposeful rebellion that's not actually seeded in anything good, just selfishness. But it feels good. And I feel like this purpose that I can choose down the route of being an Usher, that's a real way to help people in their last moments, to help bring people to that redemption that I've been trying to help them towards. But I still haven't broken the tablet yet. And I don't know why. Seeing Barzak there made me so cold. I still haven't shaken that feeling, but I don't think it's a bad feeling. But I don't know what it is. And seeing all of this happened to those children, knowing that we couldn't save them like we've always done before, [00:25:19] Speaker E: it [00:25:20] Speaker F: feels like some things are more clear now than they were before. It doesn't feel as heroic. [00:25:30] Speaker C: I'll be honest, I. A lot of the things that we've done. Heroism, just. I don't know. It's all muddy. We try one thing and we succeed. Yes, but let out a dragon and destroyed half a town? We're trying to right wrongs, of course, [00:25:52] Speaker F: but a lot of what we do makes more wrongs. [00:25:58] Speaker C: Val, this might be a personal question, and I'm not sure if personal is the right word for it, but with all of my past targets, do you think any of the Ushers would know who I am? Would have seen what I've done? [00:26:17] Speaker F: I think so. A lot of them are very focused on certain types of ways people have died. Certain types of souls that they look for and find, I'm sure. I have to admit, I'm not very highly versed in each of them individually. I'm starting to learn now, recently. But I'm sure that there's someone out there that has ushered those souls. But I don't think they think of it the same way we do. When people are lost, they live on the back end, not the front end like us. They live outside of it all. I have a duty. And it's good. It's needed, it's necessary. It's part of the way the universe works. I don't think they judge you for it. [00:27:14] Speaker C: Do you think they have any negative feelings towards me? [00:27:18] Speaker F: No, I don't think so. I don't think they would think about it that way. [00:27:25] Speaker C: I mean, I think I would. If I made somebody work harder or made them have to work more, I [00:27:32] Speaker F: could always try and ask them. [00:27:33] Speaker C: No, don't burden yourself with that. Don't bring it up. [00:27:40] Speaker F: You've made a lot of good choices, Zephyr. I've seen you growing. [00:27:47] Speaker C: I plan on continuing, and I'd like to continue. [00:27:54] Speaker F: Just be careful not to lose yourself. It can be easy. Only emotions, the desires can start to rise up like a flood. But we're all here for you, to pull you back onto the ship. [00:28:10] Speaker C: Wouldn't want to be falling overboard here, huh? [00:28:15] Speaker F: Yeah. I can catch you. [00:28:18] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking about seeing if I could learn some spells from Uvaire. Particularly trying to fly. It could be useful. [00:28:29] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:28:31] Speaker C: I'm gonna need some time. This has been a lot. I need to walk. Clear my head, you know? [00:28:40] Speaker F: Yeah, I understand. I'm gonna go with Uvaire, I think. [00:28:49] Speaker C: Sounds like a fun time back in his hometown. [00:28:53] Speaker F: Yeah. Feels right to do it. But I won't see you again for a little bit, or the others. So be careful and take care of each other. [00:29:07] Speaker C: I can take care of myself. Don't worry about that, Val. [00:29:10] Speaker F: But you don't have to. Thank you. [00:29:18] Speaker B: And with that, we will go ahead and do our Star wars style crossfade to your cloud castle up in the distance as it approaches the capital city of the land of the Linorm Kings. Kal'sguard. [00:29:35] Speaker E: This. [00:29:35] Speaker B: This city is much larger than Joel. Joel was a very tall city. Didn't sprawl much. They kind of built on top of things. Kalsgaard is the opposite of that. [00:29:48] Speaker F: It sprawls outward. [00:29:50] Speaker C: Didn't we say it was hamburger, not cake or cake, not Hamburger. Pizza. What did we call? Nevermind. [00:29:56] Speaker F: It's like a pizza instead of a hamburger. [00:29:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:59] Speaker B: So Joel had a population of a little bit under 10,000 people, which is a pretty large city for this setting. Kalsgaard could be considered a metropolis having over 70,000 people. [00:30:11] Speaker C: Dang. [00:30:12] Speaker F: A little bit more. [00:30:13] Speaker C: That's more than I can count. Let's have a moment of like when they wave off the ships. Whenever people go on cruises, make sure [00:30:23] Speaker A: we have our documents from the other kings. That'll not make them freak out when we drop in with a cloud castle. [00:30:30] Speaker B: As you approach and you're making sure you got your documents all together, you hear just like a booming voice ring out. Stop and identify yourself. You are entering the lands of Kalsgaard. As these two warriors on giant eagles fly up and begin circling around the castle. [00:30:53] Speaker A: They have much better aerial security than they do over at the. What country was it? Doges. [00:31:00] Speaker F: I think they just care more or are less confident. [00:31:04] Speaker C: Hey Rusterford, come take a look. Those are pretty cool, aren't they? [00:31:10] Speaker A: You might. [00:31:11] Speaker B: I said identify ourselves. [00:31:14] Speaker C: We're getting to it. [00:31:16] Speaker F: Yes, it's your castle. Do you want to identify us? [00:31:20] Speaker D: We don't even have a group name. [00:31:22] Speaker F: You could just wave them down with your thing. [00:31:25] Speaker D: With my what? [00:31:26] Speaker F: We have the letter. The letter. [00:31:30] Speaker A: Letters. [00:31:31] Speaker C: Your glasses. We're gonna show you some paperwork, you lawyer. [00:31:35] Speaker A: Let's go. [00:31:36] Speaker E: One, I'm an accountant. [00:31:37] Speaker A: I know. [00:31:37] Speaker E: Two, I'm in my group. Lawyer. [00:31:40] Speaker C: I'm not. [00:31:42] Speaker F: Do we need a group name? [00:31:43] Speaker D: I don't know. But like how do we identify ourselves [00:31:46] Speaker F: without a group name or servants of the King of Joel? [00:31:50] Speaker C: Sure. If I say castle noo noo. It's going to cement itself. [00:31:54] Speaker D: Do not. One, don't call me that. I've said that many times. [00:31:59] Speaker C: I didn't call you it. I called the castle. [00:32:00] Speaker D: Two, don't call my castle that. [00:32:01] Speaker C: Oh well, I guess that's part of it. [00:32:03] Speaker A: It does roll off the tongue very well. [00:32:05] Speaker D: I don't care. [00:32:08] Speaker A: We have documentation from the King of Joel. [00:32:12] Speaker B: One of the writers starts like circling over the top of the castle and. And another one like flutters in and lands in the courtyard where I presume you're all standing. [00:32:22] Speaker A: Except for Aurward, apparently. [00:32:25] Speaker B: I heard you say something about documentation. [00:32:29] Speaker A: Uwe will hand him his personal. [00:32:32] Speaker B: Starts looking over the scroll. Yes, this appears to be in order. Hands it back down. Welcome to the city of Calsguard, Representative of Joel. [00:32:43] Speaker C: So formal here. What were you looking for? Specifically puts it in order. [00:32:50] Speaker B: I can read. Can you not Read? [00:32:53] Speaker C: Yeah, totally. [00:32:56] Speaker A: Yeah, totally. You cannot read. [00:32:58] Speaker D: It's a touchy subject. [00:33:00] Speaker C: Just leave it ambiguous. [00:33:01] Speaker B: What is your business here? [00:33:03] Speaker C: We've come to use your facilities. [00:33:06] Speaker E: I heard you had the best restaurants. [00:33:07] Speaker D: The toilet on the castle has kind [00:33:09] Speaker C: of, you know, Denny's. [00:33:11] Speaker B: We've got like seven different rest stops and like three different, like, chains of gas stations. [00:33:19] Speaker A: We have need of the teleportation circle that is here. [00:33:25] Speaker B: He narrows his eyes. Well, that is not my decision to make. You'll have to speak with our court mage to gain permission to use that. [00:33:36] Speaker A: Then would you be so kind as to direct us to where we can talk to this mage? [00:33:40] Speaker C: We should land first. Just throwing that out there. [00:33:43] Speaker D: Yeah. Where can I park? [00:33:46] Speaker B: Ah, good question. Does it have to rest upon the ground? [00:33:51] Speaker D: I mean, it can hover a little bit, but it needs to unload that one. She points at Uvaire. And that one valley. [00:34:01] Speaker B: Then the southern fields will do fine. Just make sure not to crush the crops. [00:34:04] Speaker F: We do have a bucket. [00:34:06] Speaker C: He has said that it normal size [00:34:08] Speaker D: shrunk down to the bucket. [00:34:10] Speaker F: You're right. I forgot about that. [00:34:11] Speaker D: It's no longer a giant castle. [00:34:13] Speaker F: You're right. [00:34:14] Speaker C: We also do have forgot Sigurd. [00:34:16] Speaker D: We do have Sigurd. [00:34:17] Speaker F: That's true. And I have wings. [00:34:18] Speaker D: And Val can fly. [00:34:19] Speaker B: Well, if you decide to fly, then that will make your decision easier. But if you should choose to land the castle, please hover it gently over the crops in the southern field. [00:34:29] Speaker D: I will, I promise. [00:34:30] Speaker E: I know I'm not there, but with the water in the clouds around the castle. [00:34:35] Speaker B: Water the crops, it's magic away. And the two eagle guards take off and fly back down to the town. [00:34:45] Speaker D: Well, do you guys want to fly down or do you want me to lower the castle? [00:34:50] Speaker A: I think it'll be easier if we lower the castle. [00:34:52] Speaker C: It would make quite the entrance. [00:34:55] Speaker F: Yeah. We're going to get outward so that we can go behind. [00:35:01] Speaker B: So you make for the southern fields as directed. Lower the castle. Just kind of hovering just a few inches over the fresh barley that's still growing. And from there, it's just a bit of a hop down off of the castle. [00:35:14] Speaker A: Uvaire is going to hop off and just start walking because I'm still having it. Where he doesn't quite realize that Val has volunteered. [00:35:28] Speaker F: That's fair. I like this. Again, Val will knock on Alhor's door. [00:35:33] Speaker E: A mage. It'll just open. [00:35:35] Speaker F: Hi. [00:35:36] Speaker E: Hi. [00:35:37] Speaker F: I'm gonna leave. Oh, with a Hoover already? We just got there. We talked to some people on Eagles [00:35:46] Speaker E: ourd Looks a little frazzled and like, he hasn't slept at all. [00:35:50] Speaker F: Are you holding up alright? [00:35:53] Speaker E: I'm fine. I'll go see Uvaire off and he grabs some things and his staff and walks out with you. [00:36:02] Speaker F: Alright. I'd offer to give you a hug of comfort, but I know that you don't like to be touched. [00:36:08] Speaker E: I'm fine, Mal. It'll. It'll be fine. [00:36:12] Speaker F: Yeah. Okay. I just imagine, you know, emotions and such. That's okay. So we'll get that. We'll go down to see everyone. Val's still expecting Uber to be there. [00:36:28] Speaker B: Val, as you make your way back out to the courtyard with Alward, you notice that Uver is not there anymore. And when you glance out the window, you see Uvaire's actually, like, halfway to the city gates already. [00:36:40] Speaker F: Oh, right. Bye, guys. I'm gonna go with Uber. I don't think it'll take that long. This should be good. I just kind of feel like I need to. So [00:36:56] Speaker C: have fun. [00:36:57] Speaker F: Yeah. I don't know how we'll communicate with you all, but I'm sure there'll be a way. [00:37:02] Speaker D: I was about to ask, how do we. How do we know when we need to pick you back up? [00:37:06] Speaker C: I have a way. [00:37:06] Speaker F: I don't have any of your numbers. [00:37:09] Speaker A: Uvair has sending. [00:37:10] Speaker F: Oh, okay. [00:37:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:37:11] Speaker C: You could also send Sigurd. [00:37:14] Speaker F: That's true. And magic. People's got magic, so that'll be good. All right, I'm gonna pull out my wings. I'm gonna. I'm gonna go and catch up to there. Be good, everyone. [00:37:32] Speaker D: No, no promises. [00:37:34] Speaker F: Be safe. Take care of each other. Yeah. And then Val's gonna just, like, kind of fly off to the courtyard. [00:37:42] Speaker D: So. Back to Joel. [00:37:45] Speaker C: I can travel there in the shadow plane soon. [00:37:47] Speaker A: Whatever. [00:37:48] Speaker D: Back to Joel. [00:37:49] Speaker B: Back to Joel. [00:37:50] Speaker C: It's such a big place. I can make it without having to worry about it. [00:37:54] Speaker D: As the cloud castle starts to float back up into the sky, Eros takes the crown that's been in her satchel this whole time. And she stares at it, and she puts it on, and she stares out over the landscape that they're flying over. She just nods. I am the Storm Queen now. [00:38:25] Speaker B: And with that, we will end the episode. [00:38:28] Speaker F: Insert maniacal laughter echoing away and fading. Big lightning. [00:38:35] Speaker D: Look, it's me. I am the storm. [00:38:37] Speaker F: A lightning bolt strikes Uwe. [00:38:39] Speaker E: Electricity starts going off of her hair. [00:38:44] Speaker B: All right, and the hero point for today's episode goes to Sven. We just loved how you were playing Uwe, playing your character, handling a sensitive situation really well, there. And also at the same time, being totally oblivious to the fact that Val is following you. [00:39:01] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, that one. [00:39:04] Speaker F: I've been here the whole time. [00:39:05] Speaker D: Even though Neros was like, I have to drop two people off. [00:39:08] Speaker A: I'm having fun with that one. Honestly, I'm not gonna lie. [00:39:11] Speaker C: That one. [00:39:12] Speaker A: That one I'm just having fun with. [00:39:13] Speaker E: He's old. [00:39:13] Speaker D: I don't know how I knew that. I think I met a game a little bit. [00:39:17] Speaker F: Have you. That's fair. It was probably. Have you ever followed your grandpa around for the day and he's like, you've been here. [00:39:22] Speaker A: You've been here. [00:39:23] Speaker F: I forgot about you. [00:39:23] Speaker E: He's gonna notice. [00:39:24] Speaker F: He just leaves you behind at the store. [00:39:25] Speaker D: Have you done that? [00:39:26] Speaker F: He just leaves you behind at the store. [00:39:28] Speaker D: Did that happen to you? [00:39:29] Speaker F: No. [00:39:31] Speaker A: Tune in next time for our next [00:39:33] Speaker E: banter where we hear a traumatic story. [00:39:37] Speaker A: Oh, no. Thank you. Thank you for the hairpoint. I'm excited to see what happens. This is going to be, if you haven't already realized, we're splitting the party. [00:39:48] Speaker D: Now, normally, don't you know, you never do that. [00:39:52] Speaker F: Exactly. Except for when you're a cool group. [00:39:53] Speaker A: But this time it's gonna work out totally, 100%. And then I believe. Well, we're gonna have to find. [00:40:01] Speaker E: The best part is, is that half of them can't die because we're an uneven party. [00:40:04] Speaker D: I'm so worried. [00:40:06] Speaker F: I bet there'll be at least one character death in me and Spencer. [00:40:09] Speaker C: Technically, half can die because one person can be left. [00:40:13] Speaker A: Hey, as long as you three. I mean, Sam and I have practice getting different characters, so, you know, we're good. [00:40:19] Speaker F: That's. We are the two that are playing secondary characters in this campaign. [00:40:24] Speaker A: So tune in next time for the next few episodes. [00:40:27] Speaker C: We'll see. [00:40:28] Speaker A: We spend. [00:40:29] Speaker F: Do not hit Abby. [00:40:31] Speaker A: Sorry. I got long arms. That's all. That's all I got. I got nowhere to go. [00:40:37] Speaker E: You're not even going to do anything. [00:40:39] Speaker A: I'm. [00:40:40] Speaker D: He's going to hit me. [00:40:40] Speaker F: That's. [00:40:42] Speaker A: I'm going to. No. [00:40:46] Speaker C: You almost stayed. [00:40:48] Speaker F: It's been a while. It's been a while. [00:40:50] Speaker B: It's been a while. [00:40:52] Speaker A: I'm going to definitely not make a new character. [00:40:56] Speaker E: My new character. [00:41:00] Speaker B: That's not ominous at all. But we will see you all. Well, some of us will see you all in the next episode. This has been an Atomic Broadcasting production. If you enjoyed the show, make sure to give us some support by liking, commenting and following. These things really do make a difference in getting the word out and helping our community grow. Also, make sure to check us out on threads and check out the Discord server where you can chat with other fans and discuss all the recent developments and happenings. Links to all these good things in the description below. The Written and the Lost is an original story that uses trademarks and or copyrights owned by Paizo, Inc. Used under Paizo's Fan Content Policy. Atomic Broadcasting and the Written and the Lost are not published, endorsed or specifically approved by Paizo. For more information about Paizo, Inc. And Paizo products, visit visit paizo.com hope to see you all in the next episode. Until then, have an Atomic time. [00:41:57] Speaker F: Alward can fly. [00:41:59] Speaker C: Oh, I didn't know that. I think I knew that. I don't know. I can just feel his glare.