EP. 123 The Witch of Woodhurst

[00:00:05] Speaker A: You are listening to an atomic broadcasting production. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the feature presentation. [00:00:13] Speaker B: And remember, do your part. [00:00:15] Speaker A: Such as, like, comment rate, and don't forget to tell a friend to tune in for an atomic time. [00:00:31] Speaker B: Now, where did we leave all? Ah, yes. [00:00:37] Speaker C: While Neros and Alward kept the witch busy in her hut, Zafir absconded from the closet with the bundle and the stabbed body. As Zafir rushed inside to kill the witch, Val quickly pulled the knife from the throat of the corpse, which threw a raggedy, gasping breath and began cackling. Val quickly replaced the dagger, but within, the witch had already heard the noise from outside and tried desperately to escape, shrieking that she would be killed by Cornelius. [00:01:17] Speaker B: So, as you all know, I watch movies all the time. I am an avid film enthusiast. [00:01:25] Speaker D: He's lying. Don't listen to him. [00:01:26] Speaker E: It's hard to get him away from the tv. [00:01:28] Speaker F: I. [00:01:29] Speaker B: If you ask me about classics like Bill and Ted's excellent adventure, that is a classic. Titanic. [00:01:39] Speaker D: You have never seen Titanic or Avatar all the time. Do not lie to them. [00:01:45] Speaker G: 90% of the time when we're talking to Jordan, he's like, I can't talk right now. I'm watching Titanic. [00:01:49] Speaker F: If someone says. If someone says they haven't seen Bill and Ted, there's a part of me that, like, breaks just a little. [00:01:55] Speaker D: I've never seen Bill and Ted. [00:01:57] Speaker A: What is Bill and Ted? [00:01:58] Speaker F: We're going to do it. We're going to do a dark crystal. I'm going to pass out my copy to all of you, and you're going to watch it. [00:02:04] Speaker G: If you like it better than the [00:02:05] Speaker F: Dark Crystal, you will. [00:02:07] Speaker B: But with all that being said, recently I watched a film in theater, and for the first time in my life, I am going back to the theater to see it in theaters a second time. This film is the film Iron Lung by Markiplier Studios. I don't know if you all have [00:02:29] Speaker F: heard about it, so here's the thing. You mean the fact that you haven't seen many movies and then you're like, I have. This is really good. I want to see. The second time is not really, like, a big sound. [00:02:39] Speaker B: Like I told you, I watch movies all the time. I don't know what you're talking about. [00:02:44] Speaker F: It feels like you could just see, like, anything and been like, that was. I should see that again. [00:02:48] Speaker E: Well, see, here's the thing. He's seen so many movies that he's like, I don't want to see him again. But this one was special. [00:02:55] Speaker B: Okay? So sarcasm under the rug again, where it belongs. I actually don't watch a lot of movies, audience. That's what everybody's been trying to tell you. [00:03:04] Speaker D: I've said it straight out. [00:03:06] Speaker G: I'm not just trying. [00:03:07] Speaker D: I'm telling you he doesn't watch movies. [00:03:10] Speaker B: I watch easily 100 times more audio, visual content now that I have married an actual person who likes films and TV shows. [00:03:21] Speaker D: Educating you. [00:03:22] Speaker G: So I legit thought you were going to just say, now that I've actually married an actual person, Full stop. [00:03:29] Speaker B: Actual person. [00:03:30] Speaker F: Before you, before you married her, I was like, I think I felt like I showed you half the movies you'd ever seen in your life, and it was not a lot of movies. [00:03:38] Speaker B: Remember that one movie that you lent me and it took me like 13 months to watch it? [00:03:41] Speaker F: Yeah, I do. You've had Rashomon forever. And I was like, wow, this guy. I thought you were just gonna give it back and never actually. [00:03:48] Speaker E: Why'd you count that in infant time? 13 months? [00:03:53] Speaker B: Cause it was a little. Say a year, bro. [00:03:55] Speaker E: Just say a year. Anyway, how was the movie? [00:03:57] Speaker B: It was good. It was good. Okay, so caveat people. The biggest detraction that people give it is that it was a slow movie. And I'm like, yeah, get over it. It was a slow movie. What did you want a story about somebody going insane in a submarine to [00:04:12] Speaker E: be like, oh, spoilers. [00:04:14] Speaker G: Wait, it's about somebody going insane in a submarine. [00:04:16] Speaker B: Okay, so that's blood. The non spoiler summary. Because I will tell you what I knew going into it, which was very, very, very little. Basically the only things I knew about it was what they revealed in the trailer. So it is a film that's based on an indie game that Markiplier had played. And after he played it, he was like, I'm really grabbed by the lore and the story behind this. I'm going to make a movie of it. So the concept is there is this, the setting is space. Except a few years ago they had this thing they called the Quiet Rapture, where all of the stars and planets with habitable and useful resources just disappeared. And all that's left now is the space stations, spaceships, and just barren moons and planets with nothing useful on them except they start finding these random blood moons that are just covered in an ocean of blood. [00:05:13] Speaker A: So I know the game you're talking about. [00:05:16] Speaker B: Yep. Iron lung. [00:05:17] Speaker G: I've never heard of this game. [00:05:18] Speaker E: It's pretty good and actually pretty cheap. It's like, I think $5 knowing this [00:05:23] Speaker G: makes me want to see the movie more because just based off the title, I thought it was a horror movie about a medical condition. [00:05:29] Speaker E: It makes so much sense to be in it because it's. You know. [00:05:33] Speaker B: So they send this guy in a submarine that they have nicknamed the Iron Lung into the Blood Ocean because they're like, we don't really have anything else to go on, but we don't know what's up with this Blood Ocean. So maybe there's something useful here that will help us not just die out on our space stations. [00:05:52] Speaker G: So they are aware that you can't see through blood, Right? [00:05:55] Speaker E: Exactly. [00:05:55] Speaker B: That will be answered in the movie. [00:05:57] Speaker D: It's answered in the movie because they [00:05:59] Speaker B: actually go to a depth where they have to close the window. Anyway, that. [00:06:03] Speaker E: And they say that the submarine. And this is in the game lore too. But it's like at the very beginning, the submarine was made for things that aren't as deep, so they had to actually weld him in. And that's why they also have to close the window just to keep everything tight. [00:06:20] Speaker B: But it's a really good movie because it. Without getting too far into spoilers, it's not a jump scare horror where there's just like monsters coming at you the whole time. It's more of an existential cosmic horror of light claustrophobia. You know, is there any hope left in the world and stuff? [00:06:39] Speaker E: I do love me that and someone who doesn't like body horror or like bloodbath horror or slashers. It's crazy that I enjoyed it because it broke the world record for the most fake blood in a movie. [00:06:52] Speaker D: It did. I hate horror movies. It did. [00:06:55] Speaker E: You know, I also have major claustrophobia and it was just a great movie. I wasn't even listening to. I tended to do that. [00:07:04] Speaker D: He said, I hate thrillers. [00:07:05] Speaker F: I didn't say thrillers. [00:07:06] Speaker D: What did you say? Horror movies again? Shut up. You're lying. I'm a liar. He loves horror movies. [00:07:11] Speaker E: He only makes his own. That's how this works. [00:07:13] Speaker D: Yeah, but we're mainly going to see it again. One, to support Mark, and two, because he, Geordi, liked it so much. So we're actually gonna go see it. [00:07:25] Speaker A: I am actually intrigued. He's got usually my genre, but this doesn't sound like one of those. [00:07:31] Speaker D: He has talked about this movie off and on for the past week since we went to see it. So. [00:07:38] Speaker B: And now I'm like, it's also one of those ones where you watch it the first time and you go, that was good. But I still have a lot of Questions. And then ever since the movie, I've been mulling things over in my head and I'm like building theories about trying to figure out how all these things play together. And then like, okay, but that one line that so and so said, does this relate back to this? And is there, Is there time shenanigans going on or not? I need to see this again and compare with the notes. [00:08:04] Speaker F: So if Jenkins sen. If you guys want to pair with me and buy one ticket's worth of money for three tickets, we could all go see it together. I have two free seats. [00:08:15] Speaker A: Okay. [00:08:16] Speaker F: It's like one tickets worth one seat, essentially, because we have to buy a third. We just split a seat and we could all go see it. [00:08:22] Speaker E: It's actually just one seat and you guys have to. [00:08:26] Speaker G: I call sitting on Sam's lap. You can sit on mine, Sven. [00:08:29] Speaker F: I have a two seat season pass. [00:08:31] Speaker D: If you don't like. If you do not like blood. If you don't. If you get squeamish at the sight of blood or in all body horror, [00:08:40] Speaker E: it's not actually coming out of any of. [00:08:42] Speaker G: Okay, so you say body horror on a scale of the thing to like the new it. What level of body horror? [00:08:49] Speaker D: I don't know what the thing is. [00:08:50] Speaker E: That's a horrible scale. [00:08:51] Speaker B: A three out of ten. [00:08:52] Speaker F: Wait, hold on. Are you using the thing is ten and the new it is one. [00:08:55] Speaker G: Yeah. [00:08:57] Speaker F: Does it not have any body horror? [00:08:58] Speaker G: It has some body horror. [00:09:00] Speaker F: Okay, so wouldn't one should, shouldn't one be something with no body horror? [00:09:03] Speaker G: No, because I, I. The thing creeps me out on so good. [00:09:07] Speaker F: It's like the best. [00:09:08] Speaker G: It's a very good movie. But the body horror in it makes [00:09:13] Speaker F: me squeamish in the other end. Shouldn't you do like, something like Bill and Ted where there's nobody. [00:09:18] Speaker G: I've not seen Bill and Ted. [00:09:19] Speaker B: I hate, like frozen or like squeamish body horror and blood. That sort of thing. But I loved this movie and it didn't. It didn't bother me in the sort [00:09:29] Speaker C: of like, squeamish way. [00:09:31] Speaker B: So those who are susceptible to body hoarder. [00:09:34] Speaker D: Hoarder, Hoarder. [00:09:36] Speaker B: Body of a horror. [00:09:37] Speaker F: Body hoarder. [00:09:39] Speaker B: To those who are susceptible to body horror, it's like a 3 out of 10. If you dig into the lore, the scale starts going up. [00:09:47] Speaker E: In all fairness, if you watch it in black and white, it's not even. It's like you're in a swamp. [00:09:51] Speaker F: Existential body horror now. [00:09:54] Speaker G: Oh, my favorite kind of do either [00:09:56] Speaker D: of you get, like, motion, or any of you get motion sick. Okay, she can't see it, though. [00:10:01] Speaker F: That's fine. She wouldn't go see it anymore. [00:10:03] Speaker D: But towards the end, I mean, I don't get motion sick, but I was sitting there like, hey, wouldn't it be [00:10:09] Speaker E: funny if it was a silent film? No, you'd get nothing out of it. [00:10:15] Speaker D: As someone who watched Mark play the [00:10:17] Speaker E: game plays off the game a lot. [00:10:19] Speaker D: It does, Yeah. I mean, he definitely digs deeper into it and, like, adds some elements, but it's still pretty true. [00:10:25] Speaker E: See, that's the fun thing. He played it once, loved it. There wasn't that much lore. And then they had the Lore update, and then he played it again. [00:10:31] Speaker D: I haven't seen the lore. We need to watch the one with the lore update. [00:10:34] Speaker E: Oh, please do, because it shares with the movie so well. [00:10:36] Speaker D: Does it? Okay, you need to watch it. [00:10:38] Speaker E: It's like he was like, this game, this movie, it has so much to it. [00:10:43] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:10:43] Speaker E: And, you know, he just. He ties it in so well, There's a lot of, like, adaptations that don't. They just go off the rails, but this one's like, somehow they managed to make it perfectly aligned. [00:10:55] Speaker F: You gotta love a good game with good lore. [00:10:57] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:10:58] Speaker B: Speaking of a good game with good lore. [00:11:00] Speaker D: Will not finish that thought then. [00:11:02] Speaker E: Speaking of body hoarders, [00:11:07] Speaker H: funny you should mention that. [00:11:09] Speaker E: The screen went off. [00:11:11] Speaker B: We're going to open today. Not where we left off. [00:11:16] Speaker D: What? [00:11:17] Speaker G: What? [00:11:17] Speaker B: But with a cutscene. [00:11:19] Speaker H: What? [00:11:20] Speaker D: A cutscene? [00:11:21] Speaker G: Skip no post Pre or curt during Press A. [00:11:24] Speaker A: Press a. Press A. [00:11:25] Speaker D: We're not pressing A. We're not pressing X. [00:11:29] Speaker B: This cutscene has a content warning for violence, malice, and body horror. [00:11:35] Speaker A: No kidding. [00:11:37] Speaker E: Cutscene and banter. [00:11:38] Speaker F: I hate body horror. [00:11:40] Speaker B: We open in a small wooden walled chapel. One large tapestry is hung on the wall and depicts a large oak tree overhanging a city commons sort of central courtyard area. But you can really tell the way it was crafted was meant more to keep the building warm than it was to decorate the humble surroundings of the building. Suddenly, the door to this chapel is thrown open and this bulky figure wearing a cloak pushes in, dragging behind him an old dwarf in homespun green and brown robes. And the dwarf's, like, struggling and trying to grab at things. He grabs at a pie pew in this chapel, and just the pew is just dragged along with them as this figure walks into the chapel. And he sort of just throws the dwarf up against the altar in the front of the chapel. [00:12:41] Speaker H: And the dwarf's just like, what do you want? Why are you doing any of this? [00:12:46] Speaker B: And the figure leans down as if it's going to say something, but before it even gets a chance to speak, another person walks in through the front. And it's a woman wearing like gold and red armor. And she's just like, in the name [00:13:00] Speaker H: of Iomedae, stop right there. [00:13:03] Speaker B: And the hunched figure glances over its shoulder casually, just reaches up to the altar, picks up a candlestick, and we just see the silhouette of his shadow as he plunges it down and just pins the candlestick through the dwarf's shoulder into the wooden altar behind him. And as the dwarf is crying out in pain, the figure stands up and looks back at the champion, who's now walking in, sword drawn. [00:13:29] Speaker I: You shouldn't have followed me. [00:13:34] Speaker B: This champion walks up and swings her sword. And this cloaked figure ducks under the sword and at the same time lunges out with an arm like three times the size of a human arm, carapace covering it instead of skin and six inch claws, they pierce directly through the plate mail of the champion as she's now hoisted off the ground by this one arm, held in front of this figure. She's scrabbling, trying to fight, drops her sword, one arm goes down to try to just relieve some of the pressure on the arm that's holding her up inside of her guts. And as the other arm swings out like in a fist to punch, a tentacle whips up out of the cloak and wraps around her arm. And the the champion just lets out a scream as the tentacle just rips the arm off, drops it on the floor next to her. In all of this struggle, the hood has fallen back off this cloaked figure, and we see Hymir as he continues. [00:14:38] Speaker I: The powers that your so called God grants you are nothing compared to what my vessel imagines I can give him. Even so, we will accept the this offering you've brought us. [00:14:50] Speaker B: And as he's talking, this green mist starts pouring out of his mouth and defying gravity, starts just like sifting up towards the face of the champion. Behind all of this, the cleric is struggling against the candlestick, trying to unpin himself from the altar. And he reaches out, just some golden light flickering at his fingertips as he's trying to summon some divine power to do something, something to stop this. But the pain is distracting him. He can't focus. And again we cut to the struggle between Hamir and this champion as we [00:15:26] Speaker I: hear Surrender to me now we are hungry and we will ascend underneath this massive large arm. [00:15:38] Speaker B: That's holding up the champion. Hymir's normal human arm whips a chain out that wraps around the champion's neck from the left side, and then the tentacle wraps around her head from the right side. We again just cut to see a silhouette of shadows on the wall. And there's just a little bit of a tangle and a mess. And then everything separates and a little splatter of blood up against the wall we're looking at. We cut back to see the body drop and reveal Hymir's face on the other side of the body as the green mist, now streaked with red, retracts back into his mouth. [00:16:21] Speaker I: And he grins. Pitiful, even with the might of the gods for your strength. You're nothing against my toy soldier. [00:16:31] Speaker B: Hymir turns back to the cleric, now pinned against the altar. [00:16:36] Speaker I: And now for you. [00:16:37] Speaker B: Suddenly, Hymir just, like, shudders in his place and, like, staggers as if something has just slapped him. Sam, I'll allow you to take over Hymir here. Hymir knows as much as you know. [00:16:56] Speaker D: What the crap am I still, like, [00:16:59] Speaker F: all the same look like he doesn't change face. [00:17:02] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Physically, it's all the same. [00:17:05] Speaker F: Okay. He'll look around and try and get a bearing for what's going on. Sees the dead champion there. Looks over, sees the dwarf still struggling, [00:17:22] Speaker B: candlestick in his shoulder, just blood pouring down his robe. [00:17:33] Speaker J: Well, we've. We've come a long way. [00:17:38] Speaker H: What have you done? You've killed Valerie. [00:17:41] Speaker F: Oh, did I? It seems like I assume this is that. Then he's gonna start kind of shambling towards the dwarf. [00:17:50] Speaker B: No. [00:17:51] Speaker H: What if he wants stay away [00:17:55] Speaker J: Ioma Day? Is that right? [00:17:58] Speaker H: Well, no, I serve a wrath still. [00:18:01] Speaker J: Oh, the hermit, eh? Forgive me. [00:18:08] Speaker F: He kind of leans on the candlestick a bit. [00:18:11] Speaker H: Why are you here, you monster? You brought me here. [00:18:17] Speaker J: Did I say why? [00:18:20] Speaker H: I don't know what sick games you're playing. [00:18:23] Speaker F: Well, he kind of twists it a bit. [00:18:25] Speaker J: I just trying to wonder why there's even a reason for you to be here and not just like your friend over there. I haven't been myself for a while. [00:18:37] Speaker I: The gods will not show mercy on you. [00:18:40] Speaker J: The gods good. They shouldn't. Because there's no mercy waiting for them. Let me help you for a second. [00:18:49] Speaker F: And he pulls out his chalice. [00:18:51] Speaker J: He's like, take a drink, will you? [00:18:54] Speaker H: No, no. [00:18:56] Speaker F: It's good for you. [00:18:57] Speaker H: Get that vile thing away from me. [00:18:58] Speaker J: It's healing. [00:19:00] Speaker B: And green mist starts pouring out of the mouth of the chalice and wrapping itself around the face and throat of this Cleric. [00:19:09] Speaker F: No. [00:19:11] Speaker J: No. You see, I'm having some interesting thoughts right now because, well, I'm not a big fan of not being in control of the situation that's happening. It seems I've lost a lot of it. Do you understand what I'm saying? [00:19:26] Speaker B: The cleric doesn't respond. He just tries to kick at Hymir, and. Obviously no effect. [00:19:33] Speaker J: No, that's fine. Keep your blood flowing as much as you need. This is much better for you, in a way, dying like this rather than living on what's going to happen. So, you haven't seen a woman pass through here, have you? Red hair. He glances down, has this tattoo on her face. [00:19:56] Speaker H: What are you talking about? [00:19:58] Speaker J: Just looking for someone. Doesn't hurt to ask people. You know, since I'm getting around, it seems I don't remember this tentacle last time. [00:20:11] Speaker H: What are you? [00:20:13] Speaker J: Just a soldier tired of playing pretend. You know, I had a friend, briefly. Friend, acquaintance, if you will, who had tentacles like this. At least the opportunity to have them. [00:20:27] Speaker F: The tentacle starts, like, going across him, like, slithering like a snake up closer to his head. [00:20:36] Speaker J: Say, have you tasted it yet? The drink? The chalice, sire, was looking. [00:20:43] Speaker B: I don't want whatever vile mixture you have in that thing. [00:20:48] Speaker J: So, who did you say you served again? [00:20:50] Speaker B: A rat. [00:20:51] Speaker F: As he does that, I just, like, tilt the chalice to pour out into his mouth. There. [00:21:01] Speaker J: Don't you feel better? [00:21:03] Speaker B: He just grimaces at you, just ignoring the fact that the blood is staunching and the wounds are starting to close around the candlestick. [00:21:12] Speaker G: Mm. [00:21:15] Speaker J: Look at you. You're all better. [00:21:17] Speaker F: And then I'll grab the candlestick and [00:21:19] Speaker J: twist, [00:21:22] Speaker B: and he just collapses, really only held up now by the candlestick being shoved into the altar behind him. [00:21:31] Speaker J: I really do wonder why you're still alive and why you're here. But I am quite hungry. Say, you wouldn't happen to have any food around here, would you? [00:21:41] Speaker B: He's just looking at you in disbelief. [00:21:44] Speaker J: Maybe I ate recently. So hard to tell. [00:21:49] Speaker F: And the tendril is gonna start, like, going into the dude's ear. [00:21:56] Speaker J: Anyway, I really ought to be doing something else. I think. This is just. I was just trying to find out where I'm, you know, find my place reset on myself for a second. I don't really need you anymore, so. [00:22:09] Speaker F: And then he waves his hand as, like, tendril pushes in deep. Then the dwarf just, like, seizes for a bit, and then just kind of stops. [00:22:18] Speaker B: And as he does, he just kind of leans Forward. And as he breathes his last, it comes out as a green mist streaked with blood and flows towards Heimir's mouth. [00:22:31] Speaker J: Catch it with the chalice. [00:22:34] Speaker F: Well, he's going to kind of look around where he's at for a bit. This is a chapel 2 arat still. He's just going to kind of walk up. He's gonna walk up to the big, [00:22:49] Speaker J: like, holy symbol on the wall, which [00:22:50] Speaker F: I think is like a bow and arrow. [00:22:54] Speaker J: I not a fan of this, Deckle. [00:22:58] Speaker F: I'm just gonna kind of pick it up and just snap it in half. [00:23:04] Speaker J: I wonder what you all think of this. [00:23:07] Speaker F: Kind of looks up into the sky. [00:23:10] Speaker J: I doubt you're paying much attention at this point. Probably doesn't bother any of you. Think you're so untouchable. I'm curious. When you're not long and dead and the gods are no more, what will the universe do? Is this often odds? Will there be new ones to take your place? Or perhaps Grodus will finally smile as I tear him apart and he watches the end. Who knows really? At this point, I probably won't even be there. Just this thing. I'm in quite the predicament, it seems. Lost myself more than once when I was younger. I got home, I killed all those people in Otherton. It was weird, almost making friends. But wonder if they're all still alive. This curse has gotten so much worse. But I did choose it. [00:24:26] Speaker B: I suppose, as Heimir says, that the camera angle suddenly changes to look to the other side of his face as he says, yes. [00:24:37] Speaker I: This was your choice? [00:24:41] Speaker J: Yes. I thought I'd have a little more say in things. I think you liked my toy soldier analogy a little too much. [00:24:53] Speaker I: On the contrary, I think it's very apt. [00:24:59] Speaker J: Yeah. Tell me while I have a moment here. Because who knows when I'll get any more. When you wake up, Foley, and come back, I'm not going to still be around here, am I? [00:25:16] Speaker I: When I return, that will be the least of your worries. [00:25:24] Speaker J: I don't know. Some could say I'm a fairly selfish person. I like to know. But if you ever find her, I appreciate the chance to speak before the end. [00:25:44] Speaker I: No promises, soldier. [00:25:49] Speaker J: Isn't that just life? My life has been full of broken promises. Both from me, from you, from so many others. I've had a lot of time to think I don't know exist. Well, it seems you're well on your way to growing. [00:26:12] Speaker B: Yes. [00:26:14] Speaker I: Soon I will be beyond my need of you. [00:26:18] Speaker J: You'll still kill the gods. [00:26:21] Speaker I: We will Kill the gods. [00:26:25] Speaker J: Well, if my doubt is no longer an option for me, your redemption's off the table. I suppose this is the next best thing. [00:26:39] Speaker I: Hey, Mia. There is no redemption for you. And there never was when you chose me. [00:26:49] Speaker J: I suppose so. If I ever get the opportunity, by the way, I will tear your carapace off of you. [00:27:04] Speaker I: You think you still have a chip to bargain with in this relationship? [00:27:09] Speaker J: Oh, no. But you never know what's gonna happen. As much as you might want to. If I get the chance, I'll use you as much as I can to kill those idiots in the sky. And I'll do what I can to kill you, too. [00:27:27] Speaker I: You're gonna stab me in the back like you did your friend? [00:27:32] Speaker J: I'd have to have had a friend to do that first. [00:27:37] Speaker I: Come. We have many more to consume. [00:27:41] Speaker B: And as you hear that Heimir, you feel the clarity begin to seep away from your mind. [00:27:48] Speaker J: If you see her, that's it. [00:27:53] Speaker B: As Hamir's figure turns, draws the cloak back up with one normal hand and one tentacle on the other side, he walks past the camera and gives us a wipe transition to black. [00:28:08] Speaker G: Talk about body horror. Wow. [00:28:09] Speaker F: Oh, my gosh. [00:28:10] Speaker A: I say no more horror for you. [00:28:12] Speaker D: The implications of my gosh. [00:28:17] Speaker G: I don't even know if I can do the episode now. [00:28:20] Speaker D: That was insane. [00:28:21] Speaker F: Man. I've really gotta zone back into thou right now because. Hey. [00:28:25] Speaker J: Mir. [00:28:25] Speaker F: I just jumped right into it. I was like, it feels good to be back, but now I'm like, now I feel like I'm gonna struggle to get back. [00:28:30] Speaker E: Please don't say it feels good to be Heymir. [00:28:32] Speaker F: It feels. [00:28:34] Speaker A: So. [00:28:34] Speaker B: I have some good news for you, Sam, that might help. [00:28:36] Speaker E: Good to behave. [00:28:37] Speaker G: Val's dead. You are now, Haymar. [00:28:40] Speaker B: We are going to jump right back in where we left off with our adventuring party. And at this point, we are now reaching a consideration where time may be of the essence for certain things. You know, for instance, if a witch wants to jump out the window and people want to stop her from doing that. So let's go ahead and roll Initiative. [00:28:59] Speaker D: I don't want to. [00:29:01] Speaker A: 32. [00:29:02] Speaker B: 32 Neros, 31 Alward, 21. Zafir. [00:29:10] Speaker E: 40. [00:29:13] Speaker B: And Val, I'm feeling 22 Uvaire, 32. All right, so we are going to begin with Initiative. And Zafir, you have rolled the highest. You're a little ways outside of the cottage. You have just teleported out with this corpse of a half elf, Aphorite with a knife sticking in his neck, and A child tied up in spaghetti yarn. After you teleported out, Val ran up to you, and she had pulled the knife out of the corpse's neck, and it began breathing and taunting you and specifically said to use a fear that it knew who you were as it laughed like a maniac. Val put the knife back where it came from upon my request. Yes. And the corpse screamed, no, no. And then went still again after the knife went in. That's where you're picking up. [00:30:03] Speaker E: At this point, Zafir has not been. I mean, once he knew that, he said, put it back in. He's already making a beeline for the door. He is dashing as fast as possible. Dashing in other ways too. But I don't know how long it's gonna take him to get to the door, but he is booking it. [00:30:22] Speaker B: So I'll say you can get to the door in two actions. [00:30:24] Speaker E: Two actions. This is very, very different because as I approach the door, I have to be able to figure out what's going on before I can actually make a change or make a movement. [00:30:37] Speaker B: Sure. So I'll tell you what you see that doesn't take any extra time to investigate. What you see is Neros just reaching out towards the witch, but misses as she's trying to climb out the window, and Alward just pulling her back in with his telekinetic hands, which I believe are visible. [00:30:57] Speaker G: Yeah. [00:30:58] Speaker B: So you just see this massive amount of hands just all over the witch's body, dragging her back through the window, screaming as you're running up the steps into the house. [00:31:06] Speaker F: The woman's screaming. Not the hand. [00:31:08] Speaker G: My hands screaming. [00:31:11] Speaker F: They have mouse, so they don't scream. [00:31:13] Speaker E: Where is the window? [00:31:14] Speaker B: Directly across the house from you. [00:31:16] Speaker E: Okay. How far is that? 55ft because as I have movement. [00:31:21] Speaker B: So if you use your final action to stride again, you could catch up with Alward, but you'd still be, like, another stride away from the window. [00:31:28] Speaker E: I will do that. I'm going to stride directly into the middle of the room and just. I don't even say anything, but you can hear me huffing. And my eyes have turned red. [00:31:41] Speaker D: Oh. [00:31:42] Speaker E: And that ends my turn. [00:31:44] Speaker D: His eyes have been blue for, like, forever. [00:31:47] Speaker F: Mm. [00:31:48] Speaker B: It's now Ivan's turn. All right, Uver, you're up. [00:31:54] Speaker D: Oh, Ivan's the child. [00:31:55] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:56] Speaker G: I was like, who's Ivan? [00:31:57] Speaker A: All right, so Uwe, after. After detonating Ymir's mark and destroying her hand, feels the rush of wind of Zafir running into the room as he also starts Forward and he's going to get diagonal to the witch to the north of her. And can I get a 30 foot cone? [00:32:23] Speaker D: 30 foot Kern. [00:32:25] Speaker A: A 30 foot cone. [00:32:25] Speaker F: Artifact Kern. [00:32:26] Speaker E: Okay. [00:32:27] Speaker B: 30 foot cone. [00:32:28] Speaker A: Yep. [00:32:29] Speaker D: You're gonna hit me? [00:32:30] Speaker A: Nah, nah. [00:32:31] Speaker G: You should be able to angle it without hitting you. [00:32:33] Speaker B: Yeah, that's an option. That hits the witch and does not hit near us. [00:32:36] Speaker A: I need a fortitude save as I do vampiric exanguination. [00:32:41] Speaker J: Oh my. [00:32:42] Speaker D: Oh, geez. What does that do? [00:32:45] Speaker A: As Ufera's eyes also go red. [00:32:48] Speaker D: What the crap? Why is everyone's eyes going red? [00:32:51] Speaker E: It has the word vampire and sanguine in it, so I have a feeling it's blood. [00:32:54] Speaker F: This hag, I guess, should not have tried to run away because now it's everyone's like, I guess we're going to kill her. [00:33:00] Speaker B: 35. [00:33:01] Speaker A: That is a regular success. I draw in the blood and life force of another creature through my outstretched arms. I deal 12d6 void damage to living creatures in the area. With a basic fortitude, I gain temporary hit points equal to half the damage a single creature takes from from the spell. [00:33:21] Speaker B: All right. [00:33:22] Speaker A: Yeah, So I need 12D6. [00:33:24] Speaker F: Oh, I got a ton. [00:33:26] Speaker D: Here you go, buddy. [00:33:27] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:33:28] Speaker G: Doesn't it feel good? Just that. Need that many D6s. [00:33:32] Speaker E: It. [00:33:32] Speaker A: It does feel good. [00:33:33] Speaker F: It's great. [00:33:36] Speaker D: So many dice. [00:33:37] Speaker A: A 40 total. So halved to 20 and that allows me to get 10 temporary hit points. [00:33:47] Speaker B: It's not bad. [00:33:48] Speaker F: It was all the way down. [00:33:49] Speaker D: Does it have a time limit? [00:33:51] Speaker A: For one minute I get the 10 hit points, but that's about it. [00:33:54] Speaker F: Basically, the combat. Yeah, well, combat really lasts more than a minute. [00:33:58] Speaker B: Next up is the witch. [00:34:00] Speaker A: How's she look? [00:34:02] Speaker B: Fine. [00:34:03] Speaker D: She just got hit. With 20 hit points, she probably has well over. [00:34:06] Speaker F: I bet if Uvar looked at her, you think she's pretty hot. [00:34:10] Speaker I: I don't think so. [00:34:12] Speaker B: She's got all these telekinetic hands on her, just kind of like stumbling her, dragging her, and she's just like, no, no. And she reaches one clawed hand down and lifts it up like she's like raising something from the ground. And all of you hear like a shuffling sound in the room behind you as the bearskin rug in front of the fireplace starts standing up and the wolf skin that's draped across the bed stands up. Neros. I think you might remember that during the conversation the witch remarked that you were looking cold and she draped a lynx skin coat around you. [00:34:59] Speaker D: I don't remember this, but okay, make [00:35:02] Speaker B: a fortitude safe One. [00:35:03] Speaker G: No, I don't remember this either. This is terrifying. [00:35:06] Speaker A: I do. [00:35:06] Speaker F: I vaguely remember it. [00:35:07] Speaker D: I don't like that. 30. [00:35:10] Speaker B: A 30. [00:35:12] Speaker D: I'm not using my hero point for this. It's my last one. [00:35:14] Speaker E: My hero point. Academia. [00:35:15] Speaker F: It'll be the last one you'll ever. [00:35:17] Speaker D: I know, right? Am I going to become the lynx? [00:35:21] Speaker B: Not become the lynx, no. But the. The. The pelt around you starts, like, tightening onto you as, like, threads and yarn and everything just, like, start lacing you into the skin of the lynx. You are now both grappled and, shall we say, engulfed. [00:35:42] Speaker G: Engulfed. [00:35:43] Speaker F: That's what she did to Ivan. [00:35:45] Speaker D: What? [00:35:45] Speaker G: Do you not want that? [00:35:46] Speaker D: Not want what? [00:35:47] Speaker G: To be grappled in. Do you want another chance? [00:35:49] Speaker D: I'd rather not be grappled. [00:35:50] Speaker G: Okay, that doesn't happen. Or possibly doesn't happen. So Alward's eyes flit over to Nero's for a second and sees this. And then his voice in ancient Thessalonian sort of like, booms out and time rewinds. Abby, reroll that. [00:36:07] Speaker D: Wow. [00:36:07] Speaker F: Stop messing with time. [00:36:09] Speaker G: Don't tell me what to do. [00:36:10] Speaker F: I will. [00:36:11] Speaker E: You know, at this point, I think it's okay. [00:36:13] Speaker D: It's better. Roll 34. [00:36:17] Speaker B: Wow. So time rewinds and in this version of the timeline, the. As the lynx starts closing its skin and the thread starts lacing up around Neros, she's able to pull herself free and the lynx skin kind of flops down onto the ground and then just kind of forms into the shape of a lynx, just standing there behind Neros. [00:36:37] Speaker D: Thank you, Elwood. [00:36:38] Speaker F: Oh, snap. [00:36:39] Speaker G: Level six spell. [00:36:40] Speaker D: Thank you. Wow. That was level six? [00:36:42] Speaker G: Yeah. [00:36:42] Speaker D: Why did you use that on me? [00:36:44] Speaker G: Because when else am I going to use it? [00:36:46] Speaker E: You were about to get lynxed. It's fine. [00:36:48] Speaker D: Why are you looking at me like that? [00:36:50] Speaker B: Because with her final action, the witch takes her spindle and stabs it at Neros. [00:36:55] Speaker F: Oh, my goodness. [00:36:56] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:36:57] Speaker F: Why would she do that? That's. [00:36:58] Speaker E: We're not friends anymore. [00:37:01] Speaker B: This is a 41 to hit. [00:37:03] Speaker F: Oh, my goodness. [00:37:06] Speaker D: Yeah, that hits. [00:37:08] Speaker G: I should have waited. [00:37:09] Speaker I: What's your AC29. [00:37:11] Speaker G: I should have waited to use this. [00:37:14] Speaker B: That's a crit. [00:37:15] Speaker D: That is a crit. [00:37:16] Speaker B: Oh, boy. So you take 30 piercing damage as she stabs you with the spindle. And then I'm gonna need you to make a will save. [00:37:28] Speaker D: A will save. [00:37:29] Speaker B: A will save. [00:37:30] Speaker F: I really wish I was in that room. [00:37:31] Speaker A: I'm sorry, I can't do anything. [00:37:36] Speaker F: Oh, turning in the hero point. [00:37:42] Speaker B: So what did you roll on Your first roll. [00:37:44] Speaker D: I don't want to talk about it. It was a three. [00:37:46] Speaker J: Oh, I rolled first. [00:37:50] Speaker D: Okay, 35. [00:37:54] Speaker B: That's a success. Okay, so you'll only take half damage. [00:38:00] Speaker F: Half damage? [00:38:02] Speaker B: So you take five spirit damage and Neros. What you experience is the spirit spindle stabs into you and you just feel really tired, kind of just drained a little bit alward, you see, she stabs the spindle into Neros and the spool begins spinning as golden thread comes out of the wound. [00:38:26] Speaker G: That's not. That's not good. [00:38:27] Speaker F: She's stealing your timeline. [00:38:29] Speaker D: She's stealing me. [00:38:31] Speaker E: So that's what happens. [00:38:33] Speaker B: That is the end of the witch's turn. Neros, you're up. [00:38:35] Speaker F: Is all this threat, children? Oh, no, I don't like your face. [00:38:41] Speaker B: That is the end of the witch's turn. Neros, you're up. [00:38:44] Speaker D: Well, I wasn't going to use high level spells, but now I'm going to use high level spells, ya jerk. I mean, I love you, but you're being rude right now. [00:38:56] Speaker B: Thank you so much. [00:38:57] Speaker D: No, I didn't say that to the witch. I said that to you. The man in the GM seat. [00:39:04] Speaker G: Oh, gosh. [00:39:09] Speaker D: Mr. Or Ms. I guess witch. Yes. I need a basic fortitude save [00:39:18] Speaker B: 27. [00:39:20] Speaker D: That fails. [00:39:21] Speaker A: You rolled high on mine, didn't you? [00:39:24] Speaker I: Maybe. [00:39:26] Speaker D: She's still just right in front of me, isn't she? [00:39:28] Speaker B: She's just standing right there. [00:39:29] Speaker E: She's in front of me, isn't she? [00:39:31] Speaker D: Since she's trying to take my spirit, I smack her with a spirit blast. And I need 16D6. There's 16? That's what it says. Right here is 16D6. [00:39:50] Speaker F: I got a ton right here just for you. [00:39:52] Speaker D: I can't even. Even really. [00:39:55] Speaker E: You need a yachi cup. [00:39:56] Speaker F: You can see I've rolled 40 dice at once. You can do it. [00:40:03] Speaker D: Yahtzee. [00:40:05] Speaker G: I really do hope you got a [00:40:07] Speaker F: Yahtzee fed your face. [00:40:10] Speaker D: 61 points of damage. [00:40:14] Speaker F: Show off. You love to see it. [00:40:16] Speaker B: She's now bloodied. [00:40:18] Speaker J: Yeah. [00:40:20] Speaker D: Don't mess with me. [00:40:21] Speaker B: What kind of damage was that? [00:40:23] Speaker D: Spirit? [00:40:23] Speaker B: Oh, okay, that's fair. That's fair. [00:40:26] Speaker D: Spirit damage. And then. You know what? You know what? We're just gonna boop her with a magic missile. [00:40:34] Speaker G: The good old magic missile. [00:40:35] Speaker D: One tap force barrage for Sam. [00:40:37] Speaker G: Bam. [00:40:37] Speaker F: Thank you. Now I know what's happening. [00:40:39] Speaker G: Classic. [00:40:40] Speaker D: Three points of damage. [00:40:42] Speaker G: That's force. [00:40:43] Speaker D: I did. I did add one. And that is my very upsetty spaghetti turn. You literally see Nero's face, like, darken and she's just like, excuse me. [00:40:56] Speaker F: No, everybody's darkening. [00:40:59] Speaker B: That really amused me because the way that worked in my brain is Neros gets upset and she just, like, blasts all these shadows in the witch's face. [00:41:07] Speaker H: She's like, ah. [00:41:08] Speaker B: Stands back up, right? And near us, just, phew. [00:41:12] Speaker D: That's my turn. [00:41:14] Speaker B: All right. [00:41:14] Speaker D: I probably don't want to be standing right next to her still. But you know what? It is? What it is. [00:41:20] Speaker B: Next up, that lynx skin now full of these animated threads, moving, it looks over at Alward. [00:41:29] Speaker D: Hey. [00:41:30] Speaker B: And directly just pounces at him. [00:41:33] Speaker E: How dare you mess up my timeline. How dare you. [00:41:36] Speaker F: Oh, no, it's one of the hounds. [00:41:38] Speaker G: Oh, no. [00:41:39] Speaker B: But in cat form with a 29 to hit. [00:41:45] Speaker G: No, it misses me. [00:41:49] Speaker F: Yeah. What? [00:41:52] Speaker B: So it just, like, leaps across the room and Albert, you just barely manage to twist out of the way in time, and it just, like, slams onto the floorboards and, like, briefly flattens a little bit before the threads regain their rigidity and it takes the lynx's shape again, and then it stands up and then swipes at you with its claw. [00:42:12] Speaker G: These are really fun enemies. [00:42:14] Speaker B: A 37 to hit. [00:42:17] Speaker A: Yes. [00:42:18] Speaker F: Ouch. 37 with a penalty. [00:42:21] Speaker D: Sorry. I'm still very satisfied for my turn. [00:42:24] Speaker G: You did very good turn. [00:42:26] Speaker B: That's a 16 slashing damage. And with its last action, it's going to try to grab you with its claws. [00:42:35] Speaker G: Rude. [00:42:37] Speaker B: I, I, I, I don't, I don't think so. [00:42:40] Speaker G: What it get? [00:42:41] Speaker B: That would be a 23. [00:42:43] Speaker G: No. [00:42:44] Speaker B: All right. And with that, it is now the wolf skin that's on the bed's turn. [00:42:49] Speaker D: Oh, my gosh. Stop it. [00:42:53] Speaker B: It's going to run past Zafir to flank Alward. [00:42:58] Speaker E: Y' all are gonna regret that. [00:43:00] Speaker D: Oh, I'm flanked. [00:43:02] Speaker A: Do you get an opportunity attack? [00:43:05] Speaker F: No, none of us. None of us have that. [00:43:08] Speaker E: No, I'm pretty sure I do. [00:43:09] Speaker B: Hold on. I feel like you might have picked that. [00:43:10] Speaker G: I think he did. [00:43:11] Speaker E: Oh, yeah. [00:43:12] Speaker B: Actually, he's had it for a long time, bro. [00:43:15] Speaker D: Just use it. [00:43:15] Speaker E: I've never used this before. What do I do? [00:43:17] Speaker G: You make it into. [00:43:18] Speaker B: Yeah, you just make a regular attack. You can't spell strike with it. You can just attack. [00:43:22] Speaker G: Stab it. [00:43:23] Speaker E: I'm gonna stab it. [00:43:25] Speaker D: I'm gonna stab it. [00:43:27] Speaker E: Yeah, using my niddle [00:43:31] Speaker G: needle. [00:43:32] Speaker D: What? [00:43:35] Speaker E: The pointy things? [00:43:36] Speaker D: Knitting needles. [00:43:37] Speaker E: Those things. The pointy. The pointy knitting. I'm done. I'm gonna stab it with that thing. [00:43:42] Speaker B: Make an attack roll. [00:43:45] Speaker E: Wow. I rolled another 1931. [00:43:49] Speaker B: That's a hit. [00:43:50] Speaker E: Wait, sorry. 41. If that's the case. So it's plus 22. [00:43:54] Speaker G: Yeah. [00:43:55] Speaker E: That's a crit, y'. [00:43:57] Speaker F: All. [00:43:57] Speaker E: Math 16. [00:43:59] Speaker B: 16. [00:44:00] Speaker G: Is that doubled? [00:44:02] Speaker E: Oh, it's supposed to be doubled. [00:44:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:44:03] Speaker E: You got the critical 32 deadly D8. What am I supposed to do with that? [00:44:07] Speaker G: You're supposed to add a D8 to [00:44:08] Speaker D: that after rolling, y', all, you can do it. [00:44:13] Speaker A: Just add a D8 or roll the [00:44:15] Speaker F: D if it is made up by those 10, those. If it's bleeding, add two. [00:44:22] Speaker A: So 34. [00:44:24] Speaker E: Thank you. [00:44:24] Speaker B: No, but I will do this. [00:44:26] Speaker G: You don't double a deadly D8 then [00:44:27] Speaker B: one because you're using a knitting needle. I'm gonna just do something a little fun here. Oh. Make a crafting check. [00:44:37] Speaker F: Unknit it. Unknit it. [00:44:40] Speaker A: Unknit it. [00:44:41] Speaker E: Okay. [00:44:41] Speaker B: Okay. [00:44:41] Speaker F: I love it, man. [00:44:43] Speaker E: That's a really high crafting level. That's a 33 crafting check. [00:44:49] Speaker B: I'm gonna call that a success. So this is in lieu of your critical specialization. Since it's a knitting needle and this is a creature that is animated by yarn. I'm gonna let you choose. When you are stabbing him through with the knitting needle, you can kind of, like, knit a little bit of a pattern into the yarn and either give him clumsy one, enfeebled one, or reduce his speeds by 10. [00:45:13] Speaker E: All right, phone a friend. [00:45:14] Speaker G: Clumsy would reduce his AC, and enfeebled would reduce his to hit. [00:45:19] Speaker E: So let's do the one that lowers ac, the clumsy. [00:45:23] Speaker B: Okay, Clumsy. So you. As you stab through him, you tie a few of the different twists of yarn together. And now, like, he's got awkward strands of yarn in his front right paw that are connected to his hind right paw. And he. He's got to, like, do an awkward loping maneuver. So he's clumsy. [00:45:42] Speaker A: Nice. [00:45:43] Speaker B: But that doesn't stop him from getting in position behind Alward. And he's going to chomp down at Alward with his jaws with a 26 to hit. [00:45:52] Speaker G: Get out of here. [00:45:55] Speaker E: For the record, Zafir is holding his knitting needles like this, like you would a Psycho knife. I don't know what you call that. [00:46:02] Speaker D: A scythe. [00:46:03] Speaker F: The knife from Psycho. [00:46:04] Speaker A: The knife from Psycho. [00:46:05] Speaker F: Yeah, don't get spent started on that. [00:46:07] Speaker A: I have a whole spiel. [00:46:09] Speaker E: I was just gonna say you hold [00:46:10] Speaker D: a knife for a later date, buddy, [00:46:12] Speaker E: but I don't know what. You hold it like this. [00:46:14] Speaker B: With this final action, the wolf is gonna try biting again. [00:46:17] Speaker F: I hold knives like that with a 34? [00:46:21] Speaker D: Yes. [00:46:21] Speaker G: Wow. [00:46:22] Speaker F: That's like me When I, you know, hitting on the second hit, not the first. [00:46:26] Speaker B: I remember that nickname we gave you, second swing, Sam. [00:46:29] Speaker F: That's true. [00:46:29] Speaker B: That's 24 piercing damage. [00:46:31] Speaker E: Oh. [00:46:33] Speaker D: You okay over there? [00:46:36] Speaker G: Well over bloodied. [00:46:38] Speaker D: Well over, well over bloodied. [00:46:41] Speaker G: Almost down to a quarter. [00:46:42] Speaker F: Remember when you're injured? Last episode, you said you didn't need me to heal you. [00:46:45] Speaker G: Yeah, I still wouldn't. It's fine. [00:46:47] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:46:47] Speaker B: Which brings us to Val's turn. Val, before anything happens, you hear just, like, from the corpse, which is not resisting anymore, but it's clearly not dead again. [00:47:07] Speaker F: Am I still, like, standing next to him with the knife? Like, it's still standing up. He's not just laying on the ground. [00:47:13] Speaker B: He's laying on the ground. [00:47:16] Speaker F: Just push the knife in deep. [00:47:21] Speaker E: Cut off his head. [00:47:22] Speaker F: She's just, like. She's looking around. Zephyr ran off. She has no idea what's going on inside. [00:47:27] Speaker A: You've heard explosions. [00:47:29] Speaker F: That's true. But she also, like, looks at Ivan, looks down at his corpse. I know we said we were worried about cutting I Ivan free based on potential of the witch having something going on. Can I roll something to see if there's, like, a curse or a trap or something on this thing? This thing? That's the Spaghetti Monster thing. Covering this child. [00:47:55] Speaker B: What would you like to roll? [00:47:57] Speaker F: How do you feel about music lore, or perhaps crafting? [00:48:02] Speaker B: I could take crafting. [00:48:03] Speaker F: Let's give that a shot. 25. [00:48:07] Speaker B: You feel fairly confident that the bindings that are around the kid could be easily cut without making any harm to him. [00:48:15] Speaker F: She's gonna cut him free. [00:48:17] Speaker B: Okay. And Ivan goes. [00:48:19] Speaker H: Oh, it's so good to be free. [00:48:20] Speaker B: I mean, it's after my turn, but still. [00:48:22] Speaker F: Oh, hey. Are you all right? [00:48:25] Speaker B: I don't. I don't know. I mean, I just. I woke up here and I was. I was tied up and I was so scared. [00:48:31] Speaker F: Well, sorry you went through that. You're fine now, I think, and there's a lot going on, it seems. I'm very concerned about this body. You know anything about him? Little boy? [00:48:43] Speaker B: I don't know. He was just like a dead body in the room until you guys came. And then you pulled the knife out and you started laughing, and it's super scary. [00:48:50] Speaker F: Do you want to do something really cool and safe to get home? [00:48:54] Speaker B: I'm okay. [00:48:56] Speaker F: This is my. I'm gonna call Sigurd over. This is my good friend Sigurd. [00:49:00] Speaker B: Oh, that's a big bird. [00:49:02] Speaker F: Yep. She's really friendly and nice. She can fly you home. [00:49:07] Speaker B: Okay. Are you sure it's safe? [00:49:09] Speaker F: Yep. She's done it a lot. I've got a little friend named Zephyr. [00:49:13] Speaker B: Was he the guy? [00:49:14] Speaker F: Yeah. Saved you. She gives him rides all the time. [00:49:17] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah. Okay. I'll fly with your big bird, Sigurd. [00:49:22] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:49:22] Speaker F: And she'll keep you safe. [00:49:23] Speaker B: Okay. [00:49:24] Speaker F: And then Val. Val, watching them fly away is going to grab the collar of this dead body shirt and just start coming to the house. I don't know how far I can get before all of that happened with my turn. I don't know how many actions all that took. [00:49:37] Speaker B: Also, you can get back on the map. [00:49:39] Speaker F: Can Val. Just yelling. Remember not to kill her. We need to find out what happened to the kids. [00:49:45] Speaker B: Yeah, that's fair. [00:49:46] Speaker F: And then that's all I do. My accent is all over the place with her right now. Yeah. [00:49:53] Speaker D: Flame hammer, is it? It's probably too late to use your reaction, isn't it? [00:49:58] Speaker B: To what? [00:49:59] Speaker D: The wolf biting Albert. [00:50:00] Speaker B: Yeah, we're into the end of the [00:50:02] Speaker D: next turn now, so we can't just retcon it. [00:50:04] Speaker F: No, don't wait for that giant bear rug to come to life. [00:50:07] Speaker I: Yeah, he's. [00:50:08] Speaker B: The bear's gonna still bear. [00:50:09] Speaker G: I'll get hit next round for you. [00:50:11] Speaker A: Got plenty of time for you. [00:50:12] Speaker F: He's gonna get hit so many times. [00:50:14] Speaker G: So edible. [00:50:15] Speaker B: Speaking of Alward, it's your turn. [00:50:18] Speaker G: I had a plan and then you surrounded me by really well crafted rugs. [00:50:24] Speaker B: You know what they say. Everyone has a plan until they're surrounded by animated animal skins. [00:50:29] Speaker G: First, I'm going to sustain my amped telekinetic hand and attempt to disarm her. A hand? [00:50:36] Speaker D: Oh, by taking the spindle. [00:50:37] Speaker G: By taking the spindle. [00:50:38] Speaker E: Wait, she already been disarmed once. [00:50:40] Speaker G: Well, I'm doing it again. [00:50:42] Speaker B: So go ahead and make your spell attack roll against her reflex. [00:50:45] Speaker F: Dc, you have to critically succeed. It's very annoying. [00:50:49] Speaker G: Well, like 23. [00:50:51] Speaker B: So 23 is going to be a regular success. A regular failure. Sorry. [00:50:55] Speaker G: So nothing happens. Yeah, yeah. [00:50:57] Speaker B: If you'd critically failed, you would have lost your balance. [00:51:00] Speaker G: The thing that sucks about that the most is that that immediately ends my mage hands. Not to where they're not around. They're just. They're normal mage hands and don't do anything special. [00:51:08] Speaker B: The amp goes away. I liked the idea though. [00:51:11] Speaker G: Yeah. Next I'm going to cast amped telekinetic rend on the three coats. [00:51:18] Speaker B: Nice. [00:51:19] Speaker J: Yeah. [00:51:20] Speaker G: They need to make basic fortitude saves. [00:51:22] Speaker F: Teach those coats of lessons. [00:51:23] Speaker B: All right, so the bear 37 for the bear. [00:51:27] Speaker F: Oh, that is a bear. Did not look like. [00:51:30] Speaker D: When it's like zoomed out. It doesn't look like a bear at all. [00:51:34] Speaker E: It's kind of squishy. [00:51:35] Speaker A: It's a rug. [00:51:36] Speaker B: 29 for the link like a bear. [00:51:38] Speaker F: It's a bear rug. [00:51:39] Speaker B: 23 for the wolf. [00:51:42] Speaker G: They needed to beat a 31. [00:51:44] Speaker F: Be still look like bear. [00:51:45] Speaker B: So the bear succeeded and the lynx and the wolf both failed. [00:51:49] Speaker G: Okay, none of them critically failed. [00:51:50] Speaker B: Nobody critically failed. [00:51:52] Speaker G: Now nine slashing, 14 bludgeoning and then 12. Just damage because of my amp psyche. [00:52:03] Speaker B: Okay, so 12, 14, nine slashing. Plus their apparent and obvious weakness to slashing damage. Yes, minus their apparent and obvious resistance to bludgeoning damage. Okay, okay, the math. The math is mathing. That was easy for the lynx and the wolf since they failed. Hold on. It's gonna get more complicated for the bear. I did this to myself. Okay, the skins all take this telekinetic rend and it is rather effective. [00:52:42] Speaker F: I hope so. [00:52:43] Speaker G: Good to know. [00:52:44] Speaker B: But none of them are bloodied in quotes. [00:52:47] Speaker G: Well, are they furry? Are they torn? [00:52:53] Speaker B: They are scraped up. They are rent. [00:52:56] Speaker E: Scuffed. Scuffed. [00:52:57] Speaker G: That's my turn. [00:52:58] Speaker A: The fur's slightly more patchy. [00:53:01] Speaker B: So as Alward's turn ends, the corpse that Val is dragging towards the house. [00:53:07] Speaker F: Please don't. [00:53:08] Speaker B: Is able to finally get enough air past the dagger. And it says, [00:53:15] Speaker I: I didn't recognize you at first. [00:53:18] Speaker F: I thought, oh my gosh, you're not [00:53:20] Speaker I: at all how he described you. [00:53:23] Speaker F: Who described me? [00:53:24] Speaker J: How are you not dead right now? [00:53:27] Speaker I: Your father's looking for you. [00:53:31] Speaker B: And that's where we're gonna end this episode. [00:53:32] Speaker D: Oh my gosh, that's perfect. [00:53:40] Speaker B: Alright, and the hero point for today's episode goes to Sam. For you all in the audience, this is all primarily for his helping me out with that opening scene. But I want you all to let know that I gave Sam about two days heads up that he was going to be involved in this and told him nothing. But you're gonna play Hymir and I'll tell you when. [00:53:59] Speaker F: Yep, it was fun. I really. It's good to be Hamir again, but it's. No, no, it's fun. I like playing bad people sometimes, so it's always a good time. I thank you for the hero point. I love it. I'm excited to use it. Probably just for a reroll, but who knows? [00:54:18] Speaker D: That's primarily what we use them for. [00:54:20] Speaker B: We don't actually use them for their purpose. [00:54:22] Speaker F: I like this one's effect. It'll be good if I can keep it. It's what it's good effect. I like it. It'll be good if I could keep it. [00:54:28] Speaker D: How you said it. [00:54:29] Speaker F: How dare you eat a dude. I guess what? [00:54:35] Speaker G: That's fair. [00:54:36] Speaker D: Cannibalize people? Five guys. [00:54:38] Speaker E: No, that's five dudes. [00:54:40] Speaker F: I mean it was a champion and a cleric. That's two people, not five. [00:54:45] Speaker D: Two guys. [00:54:45] Speaker F: You can find three more. [00:54:46] Speaker D: Two God worshiping scooter. [00:54:49] Speaker F: Anyway. And then I'm also gonna go see him. [00:54:54] Speaker G: Yeah. [00:54:55] Speaker F: If snack. [00:54:56] Speaker B: If you guys. If you guys know of any movies that we should see, let us know. In the Discord. A year ago I would have said I'm not going to go see it. But who knows? I'm actually seeing movies now. I might go see the movies. [00:55:07] Speaker D: I'm so proud. [00:55:08] Speaker E: You still have a backlog, so keep that. [00:55:10] Speaker F: I'm going to be throwing Bill and Ted at all of you. [00:55:12] Speaker G: Please do Snakes on a Plane and [00:55:16] Speaker B: we will see you all in the next episode. [00:55:18] Speaker D: Bye bye bye. [00:55:20] Speaker F: Snakes. [00:55:20] Speaker B: Snacks. [00:55:21] Speaker F: Snacks. [00:55:22] Speaker D: You're welcome. [00:55:23] Speaker B: This has been an Atomic Broadcasting production. If you enjoyed the show, make sure to give us some support by liking, commenting and following. These things really do make a difference in getting the word out and helping our community grow. Also, make sure to check us out on threads and check out the Discord server where you can chat with other fans and discuss all the recent developments and happenings. Links to all these good things in the description below. The Written and the Lost is an original story that uses trademarks and or copyrights owned by Paizo, Inc. Used under Paizo's Fan Content Policy. Atomic Broadcasting and the Written and the Lost are not published, endorsed or specifically approved by Paizo. For more information about Paizo, Inc. And paizo products, visit paizo.com hope to see you all in the next episode. Until then, have an atomic time. [00:56:12] Speaker E: Guys, I really hate this. Hold on. Control. [00:56:16] Speaker F: What do you hate? [00:56:17] Speaker E: Math. [00:56:18] Speaker F: Okay. [00:56:18] Speaker D: No, I get it. [00:56:19] Speaker F: We could play something else. [00:56:23] Speaker E: When you start adding like there's sentinels [00:56:26] Speaker G: back there, we could just. [00:56:27] Speaker F: Cosmic encounters.